“Do you…still love her?” Fancy said haltingly.
“Is it love? I no longer know. At times, what I feel for her seems like a habit I cannot break.” His smile held no mirth. “None of that matters. Imogen is wed, and she would never betray her husband, nor would I want her to. But I gave her my promise as a gentleman not to kiss another, and I have kept it.”
Fancy’s chest wrenched at the terrible beauty of his vow.
“You’re an honorable man,” she whispered.
“Not where you are concerned.” He inhaled, then asked, “Why didn’t you tell me that you were a virgin?”
Startled by the question, she said, “I, um, didn’t think you needed to be told.”
“Well, I did. If I had known, I…” He frowned and went on abruptly, “That day, by the stream. You told me you were experienced. You said,I know what love is.”
“I remember,” she said, thinking back. “We were talking about love, and you were being…well, you expressed a cynical view o’ it. When I disagreed, you said it was because I didn’t ’ave enough experience o’ the world. And I replied that I was experienced because I am. I’ve been travelling all my life, seen more o’ the world than most women my age, I reckon.”
“That is what you meant by being experienced. That you’d gone on theroad?”
“Aye,” she said, puzzled by his incredulous tone. “And I said I know what love is because Ido. My da and ma were devoted to each other. And so are Mr. and Mrs. Taylor and plenty o’ other folks I know. What else could I ’ave possibly meant?”
Knight regarded her in stony silence.
It dawned upon her.Why didn’t you tell me you were a virgin?The only reason he would ask such a question would be if he thought shewasn’tchaste.
“You thought that I…I’d been with others?” she asked in a painful whisper.
His gaze brooding, he gave a slow nod.
Hurt rose within her, bringing a flood of memories. All the people who had looked down upon her because she was a tinker’s daughter. The men who’d tried to take advantage because they’d assumed she had no morals or pride. The nasty assumptions folks made about her and her kin.
Over the years, she’d built walls to block out the pain. But now those very walls—her treasured dreams—were turning against her. She’d steeled herself to accept that there was no future with her prince, no faerie tale ending. She could even bear the pain of knowing that he loved another, if only because it spoke of his devoted heart.
She wasnotprepared for him to think so shabbily of her.
To think that she was…a trollop.
Bea was right,she realized numbly.He only wanted one thing from me. What happened wasn’t magical, it wascheap.
“Fancy, I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.”
His jagged words sliced through her daze of pain. She hadn’t realized that she was crying. Mortified, she turned away from him, wiping her apron over her eyes, catching the tears she couldn’t stop.
“Just go,” she said in muffled tones.
“I am not leaving you.” Suddenly, he was behind her, turning her around, his arms surrounding her tightly. “God, I’m such a bastard.”
His gruff admission unraveled her. She pounded at the cage of his strength, venting her anger at him. He didn’t stop her and didn’t let her go. He just held her until she stopped fighting and wept. For her broken dreams and lost innocence. She cried, soaking his waistcoat, his hand stroking soothingly over her back. Finally, all she had left were shuddering breaths.
Then Knight spoke, his voice deep and gravelly beneath her ear.
“I cannot apologize enough for what I believed,” he said. “Growing up a poor and fatherless urchin in the rookery, I, of all people, know what it is like to be judged for one’s origins. How unfair and hurtful it feels. I have no excuse for doing that to you.”
In her present state, there were few things he could have said to reach her.
Just then, he’d said them.
His exquisite understanding of her pain was almost as astonishing as what he had revealed about himself. During their journey together, they had discussed varied topics, from his work to his siblings, but the one thing he’d avoided talking about was his own origins. He’d said next to nothing about his mother or his childhood.
She raised her head from his chest. “You grew up poor and fatherless?”
