I stop the car right in front of the gate. How am I going to roll down my window to punch in the code?
They descend on me like a summer rainstorm—they drench me in light.
“Paige! When did you start cheating on your boyfriend with his best friend?” “Who do you love?” “Paige! Just one question!” “Are you sorry?”
I’m stopped. I can see the house just down the slope, but I have no way to get there. I’m going to die in this car. I’m going to die with these people, these strangers, yelling things about my life that make me feel like the lowest form of pond scum. I sink down in the seat. I put my hands on the wheel. I can feel the panic rising up in my body. It feels like it’s going to tear open my rib cage. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I feel crazy, absolutely unhinged. I get now why you see those pictures of movie stars whacking umbrellas at paparazzi. This could make you snap.
They keep flashing. Think, Paige. Think.
I suddenly remember that Rainer gave me a clicker to the gate. I told him it was silly—I could just roll down a window—but he insisted. What did I do with it?
I yank open the overstuffed glove compartment and let the manuals fall to the floor. I find the piece of plastic. Yes. I click it, but nothing happens.
Is it broken?
I click it again. Still nothing. Third, fourth time. I whack it against the center console. What is the point in having all this stupid technology if none of it works?
I throw it on the floor, but just as I’m about to try to put the car in reverse and back the hell out of here—the gate opens. I half expect the paparazzi to chase me inside, but they don’t. They stay on the other side as I pull through and disappear down the hill to the house.
The first thing I see is Rainer. He’s standing there, holding an electronic key. He’s wearing a blue T-shirt, one of my favorites, and jeans. His hair is ruffled, and his eyes are big and red.
I shove the emergency brake on and lock the car behind me.
“They found us,” I tell Rainer—half-breathless. My heart is racing. Pounding like the first mile of a marathon. “They’re all up there. I don’t know…” But I stop talking. Because he’s looking at me in a way that takes all the words right out of my mouth.
“How could you?” he says. I look at him closer. He’s been crying.
I shake my head. I feel like I might be sick again.
“Can we go inside?” I say.
He nods. He doesn’t want to have this fight outside, either. Not when a long-lens camera could capture something.
I follow him inside. I toss my shoes off and go straight into the living room. I curl up on the couch. “Please come sit with me,” I say, not looking up.
“I don’t want to sit,” he says. “I can’t—”
I twist around to look at him. He’s pacing the living room, his shirt untucked. He looks like he used to on set sometimes when Wyatt was being particularly difficult. But this is also different. Back then, we were always on the same side. I knew how to make him feel better. What to say, how to touch him. Now he doesn’t even want to sit next to me. And who could blame him?
“Please just let me explain,” I say. “Those pictures aren’t what they look like. I swear to you.”
“Fuck that,” Rainer says. “They’re exactly what they look like.”
“No,” I say. “They’re not. You left last night, and—”
“You WOULDN’T COME HOME WITH ME,” Rainer screams. “I left because you made it really clear you didn’t want to be around me. And besides”—Rainer waves his hand through the air like he’s wiping a blackboard clean—“none of this matters. You weren’t with him last night because you were pissed at me. You’ve been involved with him, whether you’ll admit it or not, since the moment you met him. How stupid do you think I am? Honestly, Paige, how stupid are you?”
“Rainer!”
But he’s on a roll. “Not too smart if you thought hooking up with Jordan in the middle of the Roosevelt was somehow discreet.”
“We didn’t hook up at the Roosevelt,” I say. “I was drunk, and he was helping me get out of there. I promise you, Rainer, those pictures aren’t—nothing happened.”
“EVERYTHING happened,” he says. “You’ve been lying to me for months. You think you need to hook up with someone to cheat?”
“No,” I say. “But I want to be withyou.”
“Do you?” Rainer’s eyes flash.
