“Yes,” I say. “Rainer, I chose you. Ilivewith you. I love you.”
“I don’t think you know what you want,” Rainer says, pacing. “I think that is our problem here. You say you want me and maybe that’s true, but the reality is you want him, too.” He looks straight at me. “And I don’t think that makes you confused, Paige. I think that makes you selfish.”
I gape at him. I’m seeing a side of him I never have before. “I’m sorry, but, Rainer—”
“Do you love him?” he asks.
I open my mouth and then close it again. I shake my head. “I don’t know.”
Rainer puts a thumb to his temple. He closes his eyes. “That’s pretty bad,” he says.
“I know,” I whisper. It feels like all the air has been let out of the room. “I don’t know what to say.”
Rainer moves suddenly, quickly. “Good,” he says. “There isn’t anything to say. Go back to Beverly Hills, stay here—I don’t care. I’m leaving.”
“Rainer!” I look at him wildly. “You can’t do this. Please, let’s just talk about it.”
“Don’t worry,” he says. His words sound tinged with iron. It’s like I can taste the metal. “I’ll say something discreet—can’t have your own costar trashing your PG rep, too.” He draws a line in the air from me to him, from his heart to mine. “But it’s over. I don’t want to be with you. Not anymore.”
He turns and leaves then. He doesn’t stop when I chase after him, when I start crying, even when I beg. He just walks right to his car, starts it, and pulls out of the driveway without a single glance behind.
Rainer and I have broken up. I am alone.
CHAPTER 9
“Get up.”
I peel one eye open to see Alexis standing above me. She’s dressed in some see-through white dress, and she’s got a bandanna tied around her head. I shut my eyes against her face and the sun.
“No thanks.”
“I’m not getting grass stains on my bottom, Townsen, so stand the hell up.”
I reluctantly sit up. I’m out by the pool, at the Bel Air house, the sliding door still open. It feels like I’ve been lying here for hours, letting my breakup with Rainer play and replay. I’ve been doing this for the past day and a half.
I made the mistake when he left of going online. I read everything. There isn’t a single gossip column, newspaper, or trade that isn’t running this story with varying degrees of hysterical exaggeration. In one of them, I’m pregnant with Jordan’s baby.
In a matter of minutes I became public enemy number one. I cheated on Hollywood’s reigning golden boy. I broke up Raige. People are pissed, devastated, and yet some are elated. There are whole factions of fans (Team Ed) who have been gunning for me to be with Jordan all along. The headlines are horrifying—so ridiculous and over-the-top, they make me feel like I’m trapped in a nightmare.
RAIGECRASHES TO ANEND
PAIGEBETRAYSHERNOAH
PAIDANTAKES THELEAD
The worst part, though, was coming clean to my mom.
Once I stopped sobbing, I called her. She picked up the phone immediately, and as soon as I heard her voice, I lost it again. Completely broke down. I was going to try to be strong—I’d had a little speech I had practiced about how the press makes up stories and you can’t believe a word of it.… It’s what I told Cassandra (not that she bought it). But the moment I heard my mom’s voice on the other end of the line, I knew I had to tell her the truth.
I told her everything. Things I hadn’t told Cassandra or even, probably, admitted to myself. She just listened. She didn’t say anything, not a word. When I was finished and had stopped crying, she took a breath.
“Come home, honey,” she said.
Here’s a little secret I’ll tell you about being famous. People talk about temptation all the time. The money. Access to drugs. Booze. Parties. They talk about fad diets and eating one meal worth my parent’s entire mortgage.
But the greatest temptation you’ll ever feel when you’re famous is to just give up and go home. To go back to where you came from and send the spotlight reeling toward someone else.
“Just get on a plane, Paige.”
