“Fuck, little bird.” He jumps from the bed and walks the few steps to a door, kicks it open and flicks on a light. It's a bathroom. I hear him turn on the tap and then walk back to me with a cool washcloth in his hand. He leans down and wipes my lips. I flinch at the touch. I don't mean to, it's the smell, it catches me off guard.
“I’m s-s-sorry,” I stutter out. Fucking great, now my stutter has decided it wants to make a return.
“For?”
He pushes the hair back that is sticking to my forehead back and I try to pull my hand up and put the hair over the scar.
“I-I-I d-d-didn’t do this to m-y-y-yself, though.” I speak in a stuttered whisper as tears threaten to break free. No one has been soft and gentle with me in years and tonight is just another reminder of why men and I don't mix.
“I know you didn’t, little bird. I know just how sick love can be. How twisted men can be and just what sick needs they have to feed the hunger within.” He sucks in another long drag of his smoke, the ember tip shone bright in the darkened room, the only light bleeding in under the shit door and the open bathroom door. The smoke is hurting my senses and causing my body to coil. “Little bird, what is it?” he asks me like he knows something is wrong.
“It’s the smoke, the smell. That man… he tasted like smoke when he forced his tongue inside my mouth and his breath was heavy with stale beer and cigarette smoke.”
His eyes flick toward the smoke between his fingers. I watch as he turns it in toward his closed fist and crushes its burning tip. Before dropping the crushed remnants to the floor, his jaw clenches, as his breathing turns to an angered pace. It hurt me thinking that I'm causing him pain. “81?”
His gaze rises slowly when I whisper his name, greeting me with the full force of his now turned smoky dark-green eyes, the exotic black flecks within holding the light. “I don’t wanna remember.” I speak with truth to him there is no way I can lie to this man. His head falls back as his hands moves to each side of my neck. He slides down into me on the bed and my body tenses, my breath sticking inside my chest.
“Breathe, little bird. I just wanna keep you safe and sleep.” He mouths into my skin, his lips hovering above mine. “Tomorrow will come and we both will have to remember.” His words are heavy between us as he sinks in next to me, kicks off his boots and pulls the warm covers over us. I allow hisbreathing to lull me into the darkness plagued with hands that I don't want touching me.
My eyes drift in and out, warmth wrapped around my body as I hear voices yelling - not too close to me but close enough. I can feel light on my face, warm light. Like the sun’s rays trying to filter in through the darkness behind my closed lids. I attempt to pull my eyes open, only they’re stuck together like glue. The smell of stale cigarette smoke and worn leather is wrapped around me. My head shifts slightly.
More yelling comes in and is meet with a deep annoyed voice grunting. Then the higher ones of the two females that has interlaced notes of worry and annoyance weaving its way to my ears. I recognize that the voices are Timberly’s and I think Blue’s. There is a third I am sure of it. A quieter, sweeter voice but still heavy with a tone of madness. “Bray is going to fucking flip his shit, you know that, right?” she says and I can tell from the sound that she has her arms crossed over her chest and a resting bitch face expression. It’s like a sixth sense. I’ve always had it. Because I’ve always been hiding.
“Jade?” Timberly calls. “Jade?”
“Jade, follow my voice,” Blue also says beside me.
“Why does she have to follow your voice?”
“Like wow. Tim. She’s like maybe unconscious and shit.”
“She’s not fucking unconscious; she’s just sleeping it all off.” Wait that voice, smooth as silk but ruffed up with too many dirty cigarettes, that’s 81. Keep talking, I beg as his voice pulls me from the dark slumber my body’s in. I feel it awaken and drawn to the surface.
“What the fuck has happened?” That resting bitch face scowl and sweet voice speaks again, you can tell she’s frustrated. Keep talking. Where are you? I try to get my lips to speak the words inside my brain. Where has he gone?
“How about all you women just back the fuck off outta her face. She will wake in time, like I told you. I was talking to her in the early hours of this morning and then she just fell asleep.” I can feel him, he’s close. The warmth from his body is generating a wildfire throughout the room.
“Maybe we should call in Doc?” The sweet voice is back talking.
“How are you going to explain this to Bray and the Lone Cobras? Like fuck, man, four of their men come into the club, then drug and nearly rape a woman that they thought was a club whore. The fact that they thought that even a club whore could be treated with such disregard?” I hear… is it Blue? Yes, I am sure it is. My body involuntarily quivers at the assortment of horrifying memories come flooding back into my mind’s eye causing my stomach to roll with a nauseated feeling. My mouth waters and I know I wanna puke.
“Let’s not forget how 81 beat one nearly to death and he’s still laying bleeding and broken on the lock up’s floor. The other three are all tied to poles looking just as fucked up as their mate,” Timberly says, her voice sounding quite proud of his actions. A man who fought for me not at me that kinda makes me feel all strange inside.
A deep throbbing starts to pound in my head. The feeling in my legs comes back slowly with the weight of them weighed down by something heavy. I’m about to open my mouth when the dark abyss pulls me in deeper and everything dies out again.
“Fuck!” The muffled curse words sounds out in the distance followed by other voices. What has happened? Why won’t my eyes open? I don’t understand I can hear them fine, feel them around me yet I can’t move or wake up.
“I’m getting the Doc and I’m also calling Bray.” That sweet voice says. “Oh, and 81, she isn’t staying in this room, the same room she was attacked in and that is still covered in blood splatter. Bring her to my wing. She can stay in the guest room. Can you do that, macho man, I know you won’t move her otherwise?” Timberly and Blue laugh slightly at the sassy women’s tone and statement directed at 81. I wish I could see the look on his face.
My breathing shallows out. The warm roughness of leather covers me, and his arms push underneath me before lifting my body off the warm bed and cradling me into his chest effortlessly. That familiar smell I’ve come to know is on dangerously high levels as he walks toward the door. I try to pull my eyes open again, only they’re still stuck, so I give up, relaxing into his arms. I don’t fight it anymore, I let my body feel all the things he invokes. My mind is screaming at my heart to allow him in, but it knows how brutal the pain of telling secrets and sharing scars is to a soul.
His body drops down to a seat, his grip around me tightening. “She’s breathing. It is like she’s asleep. What the hell happened to her?” His voice from his chest vibrates against my cheek.
“She was drugged. They filled her cup with a date rape drug.” Blue’s voice floats out.
“She didn’t wanna come either and I made her. I just couldn’t stand watching her day drink, then night drink, then day drink watching that fucking random car that seems to always be parked out front.” Timberly blurts out my body tenses.
“The fuck, Tim! What car and the drinking, how long on both?” he barks even though my eyes don’t wanna open I squeeze them tight.
