“Let’s just take it one day at a time,” he said.
“Okay.” My hand trembled slightly, and River ran his thumb in circles over my skin, the touch sending an electric jolt through me.
We stood in silence for a moment, a contrast to all the loud thoughts in my head.
“Can I confess something?” I asked.
“I’m scared to say yes.”
“I’ve thought about you,” I said, “in ways I probably shouldn’t have for a best friend…even touched myself, thinking of you.” I dropped my gaze, a flush of heat creeping up my neck. Why was I telling him this? It could only push him away. “I’m…I just want you to know this has been building. It’s not something I woke up today thinking about. It’s been under my skin, itching to come out. You have to have noticed. I thought…”
I thought I’d noticed it in the way he looked at me. Was I wrong?
“Adam,” River managed to choke out. “Maybe we should get some sleep.”
“Talk about this another day?”
“Yeah, okay.”
We walked through the hallway, stopping by the space between our rooms.
There was something else on my mind that I couldn’t shake. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“You got hard when we kissed.”
“Adam,” he groaned.
“No, I’m not trying to, you know… Well, I’m not gonna lie. I’d love a goodnight kiss and maybe a hand job.” Hell, you don’t ask, you don’t get, right?
River pressed me against the wall, one hand placed by my head and the other on my waist.
“You’re making it really difficult for me to do the right thing and leave you alone in your room.”
I don’t want you to leave me alone in my room.
I smiled. “That’s the thing. I want to understand how this all fits with your sexuality. You got hard.”
He pressed his body against me, and my throat caught when I felt his erection again.
“You are…hard.”
“Your point?”
“How?”
He leaned over and inhaled in the space between my shoulder and my neck. “I’m not asexual, Adam. Quite the opposite. I just need a true connection before my body is interested sexually.”
“And we have that connection?”
“Since we were five fucking years old, Adam. Even before I knew I wanted to kiss boys and not girls, you were the only person for me. So yeah, call it whatever you want. Friendship. Connection. We have it. My dick has no problem getting hard for you.”
“How long?”
He pulled away and stared into my eyes. The green was almost black in the darkness of the hall.
“Goodnight, Adam.” He pressed his lips briefly against mine, and then he was gone.
