As we settled in our separate rooms, I had never been aware of a person on the other side of a wall as much as I was now. Every creak, every tiny sound grabbed my attention.
What was River doing? Jerking off? That was probably what I should do, but after confessing to him that I’d done it before, it felt wrong to do it now. Or was he replaying our kiss in his head over and over again like I was?
I was thirty years old, and kissing River was the biggest mic drop of my fucking life.
Sleep would come eventually, but for now, all I could do was lay here and think of the ways in which I wanted to changemy relationship with River while simultaneously keeping it the same.
19
RIVER
“I’m gonna get the next round. Anyone for more wings?” Adam asked.
“How is that even a question?” Noah replied, pointing at the two empty baskets.
I couldn’t help stealing a glance at Adam’s parting figure as he made his way through the Friday night crowd at Tanner’s.
A whole week had passed since our hooky day. Seven days since the kiss, and I was going out of my mind because we’d barely spent five minutes in each other’s presence.
My assistant manager, Fir, had accepted a couple of events for the restaurant, a birthday party and a retirement party. I was totally on board with those because each was an opportunity to introduce the restaurant to new clients, but they meant spending more time crunching numbers, working on staff schedules, and basically spending very little time at home.
All week, I’d envisaged bringing up the subject again with Adam because I needed to know where his head was at. But for that to happen, we had to be in the same place at the same time, which, of course, would have been tonight if I hadn’t gotten a message from Lex saying they were hitting Tanner’s after work.
“Adam’s been a little off for a few weeks,” Lex murmured, leaning in close. His twin intuition was both a blessing and a curse. “Especially this week. I found him in his office listening to music on an iPod and singing. Who the fuck even still has an iPod?”
“I don’t know. I think it’s kinda cute.” I feigned ignorance, even as my pulse quickened. “He seems fine to me.”
“Come on, River,” he pressed, his concern evident. “You know him. Does he seem like himself to you?”
“He’s not crying in a corner, rocking himself back and forth. Is that what you expected?”
“Well…maybe,” Lex said, shooting me a knowing look, “he’s acting like nothing’s changed.”
Lex’s observation hung in the air. I raised my beer to my lips only to find it empty. The truth was, everything had changed.
The way Adam’s hand had felt against my cheek, the warmth of his breath mingling with mine, the electric shock of our lips meeting…
“Let’s just give him some time,” I finally said, swallowing the lump in my throat.
“Time,” Lex echoed, eyeing his brother across the bar. “Yeah, maybe that’s exactly what he needs.”
But as I caught another of Adam’s fleeting looks, I couldn’t shake the feeling that time was the last thing either of us truly wanted.
“Has he heard from Victoria at all?”
I shook my head.
“She needs to stay gone,” Noah said. Lex elbowed him as Adam returned to the table.
“Here you go, honey,” Adam said, placing a beer in front of me.
“Thank you, sweetheart,” I joked. Or at least I did my best I’m-totally-joking-and-aren’t-we-so-dumb impression, butI wasn’t sure Noah bought it from the way his gaze ping-ponged between Adam and me.
“Anyway, I had an idea for a fundraiser for Star Finders,” Adam said.
“A fundraiser?” Noah asked, his attention peeked. It was thanks to him that we learned about the Star Finders Foundation. Noah had been secretly volunteering with Drew and West for years.
It was also thanks to him and Lior that they got the lease of the old hospital building to house a youth center and shelter.
