He threw up his hands. “I haven’t done anything, Caroline. I was trying to put a stop to those rumors. That’s the most important thing.”
“If that’s more important to you than standing beside your wife when she’s asked you to, I’m not sure the rumors are that far wrong,” Caroline snapped. “You may not be romancing other women, but you certainly aren’t interested in me.”
“I did thisforyou.”
“No. If you were doing thingsfor me, you would take my preferences into account. I understand you wanted to find out who’s been speaking badly of you, Levi. I promise you, I do. But what I don’t understand is why that couldn’t wait a few days when this rumor has already been spreading for weeks. What would a few more days matter? You could have done both. You could have come to the ball and then continued your search.”
“I want this dealt with now, Caroline. You should want that too.”
“But it isn’t dealt with!” she exclaimed. “You said so yourself. You haven’t confronted your cousin about all this yet. I could understand more, perhaps, if you had come home with the problem solved, but you didn’t resolve anything. You were interested in getting your questions answered, that’s all. I hope you did. I hope that was worth it.”
“Caroline, for heaven’s sake, I can’t have you reacting like this every time I make a decision. My choices are intended to benefit the both of us, and as my wife, you need to trust me.”
“No,” Caroline said, shaking her head. “I think what I really need is to stop trusting you so much, and to start relying on myself.”
“And what does that mean?”
The words were leaving her mouth before she’d thought them all the way through. “Maybe it’s best if we live apart for a little while, since that’s clearly what you want.”
“What I want! What makes you think that’s what I want? Just because I was gone for a few days, you think now that I don’t want to live with you at all? Why would I have married you if that was the case, Caroline?”
“Well, we both know why you married me. There’s no reason for us to go through all that again. This has all been about your reputation, right from the start—and now I suppose you fear the harm it will do your reputation if anyone realizes I have left and returned to my parents. Is that about right?”
“Well, of course I don’t want that.” Levi threw up his hands. “But Caroline, I thought webothcared about the state of our reputation. I thought we both wanted these rumors quashed.”
“For someone who judges those of us born into society for being shallow, you are overwhelmingly concerned with what other people think of you,” Caroline said caustically. “I didn’t think you were that sort of person. If there was one thing I would have said about you from the day we met, it was that you were practical and level-headed. And now you tell me you’re so worried about the opinions of others that it’s worth?—”
“Worth what? Missing one ball? Is one ball really that important?”
“You’re not listening to me,” Caroline said.
“I’m trying. You’re not telling me anything.”
“I am telling you that you care more about the perceived state of your marriage than the actual reality of it. You’re so worried that people might think there’s something amiss that you’re willing to look the other way when something actually is. You would rather deal with rumors than truth. I tell you I’m unhappy and your response is that the most important thing is that no onethinksyou and I are unhappy. And then, after all that, I’m supposed to believe you are not a shallow man? No, Levi, you’re not who I thought you were. This marriage is not what I thought it was. And it’s for the best that I return home now, before we are pulled any deeper into a mess from which we are unable to extricate ourselves.”
“Is this a threat?” Levi asked. “Are you trying to tell me you’re set upon leaving unless I comply with your wishes?”
“No, Levi,” Caroline said sadly. “You have already shown me what you think about honoring my wishes. I wouldn’t think of asking you for anything. Not now.”
CHAPTER 35
Levi knew he ought to confront her and try to get her to change her mind—but how could he? How could he possibly talk to her when she had been so aggressive with him? What was there to say? He wasn’t willing to open the door to the possibility of more fighting. Besides, she was the one who was in the wrong. She was the one who had failed to understand the importance of his mission in the country. For heaven’s sake—she hadn’t even said anything about his discovery that Charles had been to blame for the rumors! Didn’t she care about that?
So, he had left her to her own devices, even though he was aware that she was spending the evening packing and preparing to leave. She would change her mind about it, he’d told himself. She would come to her senses and realize that she should be staying here with him, not running away just because things had become difficult. She would come to breakfast in the morning contrite and apologetic, and everything would be fine.
But she didn’t.
Levi sat at the breakfast table alone, unable to bring himself to eat. He didn’t know why he was so bothered by what was happening. He had decided on his own, before any of this had happened, that he had allowed himself to get too close to Caroline. It shouldn’t bother him that she was pulling away,too.
He took a long drink of his coffee and tried to shake off the feeling that something was badly wrong. Everything was fine. It didn’t matter that she was angry because he stood by the choices he had made. He knew he had done the right thing, and that was what was most important.
He had almost managed to convince himself when he heard loud noises from the foyer. Rising from his seat, he hurried out to investigate.
Footmen were carrying Caroline’s trunk toward the door. Levi’s heart missed a beat as he watched her descend the stairs. She was dressed in traveling clothes. “You mean to go through with this,” he said.
“I meant everything I said last night. I think it’s for the best if you and I separate ourselves from one another,” she said quietly.
“I can’t believe this. You’re doing the same thing your sister did.”
