“Of course I’m not. Prudence ran away to the country and didn’t tell anyone where she had gone. I’m going to my parents’ home. No one will have to worry about my safety or well being. It’s not at all the same.”
“It’s the same because you’re running out on your obligations,” Levi countered. “This is the very thing you’ve accused me of doing.”
“You want me to put this marriage first when you never have? Levi, that’s unreasonable. It’s best for both of us if we give ourselves some space. I will be happier if I’m not always in a place where I don’t have to think about who isn’t there with me. You will be happier if you can live your life without thinking about a wife at home who is always waiting on you and wondering when she’s going to see you again. You and I…we simply aren’t compatible. We have different ideas about what a marriage ought to look like, and there’s no reason we should continue to torture one another with that. It’s better to go our separate ways now.”
“You’re committed to this.”
“I am,” she said quietly.
He wouldn’t argue with her. He wouldn’t beg her to stay. He was above that sort of thing. And it would do no good anyway, for he could see that she meant what he was saying.
He was also sure that she was going to regret her rash decision—but there was nothing he could do about that. If she didn’t want to see it, he couldn’t make her see it.
“My breakfast is getting cold,” he said.
“Is that all you have to say?”
“I am still your husband by marriage, even if not in practice, and whatever the city may think of me, I stand to my duties. Should you require anything, you have only to ask. I will see to it that your needs are met for the rest of my days. But if you are determined to go, know that you and I will have no further part in one another’s lives, nor will I pretend for the public eye that things are different than they are. I will not walk around lying about how happily married we are. I won’t go out of my way to attend social events with you.”
“No, you didn’t do that even when I lived under your roof,” she agreed, but she no longer sounded angry; only sad. “I can’t see why you would do it now that we are going to be apart.”
He lingered for a moment. It almost felt as though there was something he needed to say, some words he could speak to her that would put a stop to all this before it went too far and convince her that she ought to be here with him still. This couldn’t be the right thing. It couldn’t be that this marriage really had failed.
It would mean that the people spreading rumors about the two of them had been right all along.
They hadn’t been right about Levi having affairs—that detail had been wrong. But they’d been right to suggest that this marriage was a sham, and that neither Caroline nor Levi was truly happy in it. If they had been, things would not have fallen apart so quickly, Levi was sure.
The shame of having failed so immensely was nearly suffocating. He couldn’t even stand to be in the same room with her. He turned and hurried away on the pretense of needing to return to his meal, but the truth was that the thought of one more moment in the company of the woman who was leaving him was excruciating.
The next few days passed in a hazy sort of blur for Levi.
He threw himself into his work. He had married for the sake of business, so that he would be able to show his partners and investors that he was a secure and reliable person. This latest development would only suggest the opposite once word of it got out, so he needed to do his best to prove himself a dependable partner in other ways. He sat in meetings with everyone he had ever exchanged currency with. When anyone asked him about his wife, he said something noncommittal. He didn’t want to lie about the situation at home in case he was found out, but neither did he plan on bringing it up unnecessarily. People needed to see stability in a man of his station. No one would benefit if it became clear just how unstable things had become.
Three days after she left, he forced himself to go to the pub. Gregory was waiting for him with a pint, and his warm smile turned sympathetic when he heard the story of everything that had happened.
“So she’s gone?” he asked.
“Just back to her parents’ house. It’s not as if the marriage is ended. But…yes, for the time being, she’s gone.”
Gregory sighed. “I’m sorry to hear it.”
“You’re going to tell me that I deserved it.”
“I most certainly was not going to say anything of the kind, Levi. I’m not a monster.”
“But you’re thinking it, aren’t you? I know you. You always said I should invest more time in her—in my marriage. You probably think you saw this coming a mile off.”
“Levi, I would never speak that way to a friend. Even if there were some truth to it, I wouldn’t say it. And besides, marriages and relationships are difficult things. I don’t believe there was some easy answer, something you should have done that would have set all this to rights and spared you from the situation you’re in now. But what are you going to do about it?”
“What can I do? She’s made her decision.”
“So you’re just going to let her go?”
“I’m not going to drag her back to the house she chose to leave.”
“If you don’t try to persuade her back then itisyour fault, Levi. Then I do judge you. Because that means you are choosing to letthings fall apart, and therefore, you have nobody to blame but yourself for the fact that it’s happening.”
“You can’t understand what it’s like,” Levi said firmly. “You don’t know how it is to try to make a relationship work with someone who is just too different from yourself.”
