But the one thing she felt confident about was that there was no way she would be able to get him to change his tune. Whatever this was, he had clearly made up his mind about it. It was obviously his intention to see it through. And if that meantshe ended up married to Lord Harbury, it seemed that was an outcome he was prepared to accept.
She couldn't understand how this could have happened.
But she wasn't going to stand here and listen to it. "I know you're lying," she said. "I know the kiss meant something to you. I knowImean something to you. I don't know why you're pushing me into another marriage now, but I can only assume it's because you're afraid. And for that, I feel sorry for you."
She turned and strode from the room, unable to bear the thought of spending so much as another moment in his presence.
And as she left, she tried her best to ignore the tears that pricked at the corners of her eyes.
CHAPTER 33
"Good morning, Lord Harbury. Thank you for your visit."
"You should call me Henry," Lord Harbury said with a smile. "I'd like us to be on a first name basis, if you're comfortable with that."
Victoria hesitated. But, she supposed, there was no harm in a name. "Very well," she agreed. "You may call me Victoria, then."
"It's a beautiful name," he said, smiling. "Almost as beautiful as its owner. And I'm so grateful to consider you a friend, Victoria."
"Begging your pardon," she said, "but I can't help but feel as if that word is being applied in haste, Henry. Though I do find you to be a pleasant gentleman, and I have enjoyed every moment I've spent in your company, the fact remains that we hardly know one another. I would have thought we would spend more time in each other's company before applying the termfriend."
"Well, I hope to do just that," Henry said. "I've come here today because it's my aim to spend a great deal more time with you, Victoria. I know we've only met once before, and this must be a great surprise for you. But I was a business associate of your late husband's and he had asked me to look out for you in the event of his death. He cared a great deal for you, you know."
"No, he didn't." Victoria frowned. "He hardly knew me. He probably knew less about me than you do. He married me because I was young, and he wanted a young wife. It had nothing to do with caring for me."
"I believe that you think that, but it isn't the truth. You must take my word for it. He and I had many conversations before the two of you married. We discussed his feelings for you many times."
Victoria frowned, trying to process what she was hearing. She didn't believe the late duke had had any feelings to speak of for her. She hadn't forgotten the way he had leered at her on their wedding day, as if she was nothing more than an object. She would never forget how it had felt to be looked at in that way.
And yet…
Maybe there was something to what Henry was saying. The duke hadn't felt any tenderness or affection for her, but it was possible to believe that he might have felt a sense of duty. She could imagine him speaking to a friend, asking Henry to care for her if anything should happen to him. After all, he had known that he was a good deal older than she was. He couldn't have known his death was so near, but he would have known that Victoria waslikely to outlive him. He would have been able to imagine her future after he was gone. And Henry, while not ayoungman, was younger than the duke had been and surely had many more years ahead of him.
"I understand that you wish to see me provided for," she said at last. "But you know, don't you, that His Grace is working hard to find me a marriage? Everything will be seen to, and there's no need for you to spend any time worrying about my future. I'll be married soon enough."
"Well, perhaps that's true," Henry acknowledged. "But you must know that there are plenty of gentlemen out there who would seek a marriage to you for less than noble reasons."
Victoria said nothing. She did know that, of course. Every gentleman who had ever pursued her had done so for underhanded reasons. That wasn't something she was willing to discuss with Henry, but it was never far from her mind.
"I hope you'll consider me as an option, if for no other reason than that you can trust my intentions," he went on. "It's true that you and I don't know each other well yet, but I assure you, my only aim is to ensure that my old friend and business partner's widow is cared for. It means a great deal to me."
"I'm not sure," Victoria said. "It's a very kind offer, but I'm just…not sure this is what's right for me. And I couldn't accept a proposal without securing a blessing from His Grace, of course."
It was an outright lie. James had been more than clear that she didn't need his permission. But Victoria felt so uncertain about this turn of events that she couldn't help trying to find a way out of it. Surely there must be something that could be done—something that would make Henry go away and leave her on her own.
"I spoke to the duke," Henry said. "He seemed to suggest that if I could obtain your consent, he would allow the marriage to go forward. And, in truth, your opinion is all that matters to me, Victoria. You are the one I wish to marry, not the duke. I know his reputation for trying to maintain rigid control of things, and I'm sure he must make you feel as though you have no right to say yes or no to my offer without speaking to him. The truth is that you do have that right, and the only thing I want to know is whatyouwant."
Victoria sucked in a breath. It felt so strange, so unfamiliar, to be asked what she wanted and to believe that the person doing the asking actually cared what her answer might be. And yet, she did believe it. There was a sincerity to his tone that made her feel sure he did mean what he said. He wanted to marry her—but only if it was whatshewanted as well.
I might not get a better offer. James might be right about that.
She had hoped that James would confess his own feelings for her—she could admit that hope to herself now. She had thought perhaps there might be something real between the two of them, and the fact was, she had wanted there to be something. She couldn't ignore her own feelings for James. Marrying someoneelse, leaving his house to be with another gentleman, felt wrong, and it made her heart ache with loss. She had hoped for something different—something more. Now she had to accept the fact that the thoughts she had entertained about a future with James had been nothing more than errant dreams. They would never come to pass, and the only sensible thing to do was to let them go.
But how could she let go just like that? After everything she and James had been through together—after the kiss the two of them had shared—she was supposed to just walk away from their relationship as if it had been nothing at all? She couldn't do it.
She turned to look up at the house.
She only meant to look for a moment, to reminisce about the time she had spent living here, to ponder the fact that she might soon be saying farewell to the place that had been her home. But something caught her eye.
