‘What did you say to her?’
Bonnie sniffed, rubbing her face with her sleeve. ‘Horrible, horrible things. I was so angry. You always thought she was sweet, but I saw how manipulative and mean she was. And I told her that. I threatened to tell you exactly what she was like. Promised I’d never let you two be together. Said she wasn’t good enough for you.’
I could imagine Bonnie’s rant. If possible, she had even less of a filter as a teen. There would have been a lot of name-calling and insults thrown in.
‘Then, days after I’d basically told her that she was beneath us, she killed everyone.’ Bonnie shook her head. ‘She smiled at me when the judge passed the verdict.’
I hadn’t watched. I’d been so wrapped up in guilt that I’d barely felt an ounce of relief that my family’s murderer would be in prison for the rest of her life.
‘That’s why I didn’t want to talk about any of this.’ Bonnie’s lower lip wobbled. ‘I didn’t want you to realise that me being an unstoppable arsehole ruined our lives.’
I stood up and rounded the table. Bonnie rose to meet me, braced for a shove. I pulled her tight to my chest, and she collapsed into my arms.
‘We need to stop blaming ourselves,’ I whispered into her hair. She would hear me over her heaving breaths. ‘Neitherof us could have known what was lurking inside of her. You saw her more clearly than I did, and you didn’t think she was capable of what she did, right?’
Bonnie shook her head, smearing snot across my jumper. I hugged her close despite her leaking nose. We’d both been so consumed by guilt that we hadn’t been able to reach out to each other. We’d wasted years feeling responsible for something neither of us had any power over.
‘Does this mean you’ll stop avoiding me now?’ Bonnie hiccupped as she stepped back. ‘I miss you.’
She sat down and wiped more snot onto the sleeve of her jumper, which I realised was one of Joshua’s. She was determined to mess up the clothing of all the men who loved her.
‘I miss you too.’ I sat down heavily in the chair beside her. Our knees bumped as I leant to grab my cup of tea. ‘I never wanted to avoid you. I thought you knew deep down that I was to blame, and that was why you didn’t want to talk about any of this stuff.’
Bonnie shook her head. ‘Nah. It was my fault. I couldn’t bear for you to find out and hate me even more than you did already.’
I knocked her shin as I took a sip of perfectly made tea. ‘I never hated you.’
‘Good to know.’ Bonnie sniffed and wrapped her hands around her mug. ‘At least the first person I told about the pack didn’t freak out too badly.’
I huffed a laugh. ‘Joshua did immediately tell his twin.’
‘They’re practically conjoined. Except for when one of them swans off to the mainland on some poxy bakery tour.’ Bonnie grinned. ‘Now we’re going to be close as well, can I challenge you about how determined you are to stake yourclaim on Aster by covering him in as much spunk as possible?’
I thumped my mug on the table and stood up. ‘I’m leaving.’
Bonnie cackled as she followed me to the front door. ‘Having to endure the stank of your jizz is a small price to pay to see you happy.’ I wrenched open the door. She stopped me storming off with a strong hand at my elbow. ‘It is good to see you happy, little bro.’
I swallowed, then nodded jerkily. ‘I need to go back to the cabin and make sure I haven’t messed things up too badly.’ Aster had been kind as I’d left, but maybe time alone had awakened his rage at being so heartily mistrusted.
‘Just give him a blowjob and all will be forgiven.’ Bonnie released my arm. ‘Works a treat for me.’
I scrunched my face, fighting the image of my sister and Joshua engaged in any kind of sexual activity.
‘See you soon,’ I called over my shoulder, already breaking into a jog.
‘It had better be soon.’ Bonnie’s quiet voice followed me down the road.
Even though I was sprinting uphill, I felt lighter as I made my way home. Not only was Aster someone I could trust, but the impenetrable barrier between me and my remaining family member had been torn down. Despite Bonnie’s tendency to overshare and poke her nose in, I wanted to spend time with her soon.
Beneath the guilt and pain of what happened ten years ago had always lurked the sorrow of losing her too. Now, all of that had been stripped away.
I was a different man to the one Aster met when he first came up the mountains and got lost in asnow flurry. He couldn’t take credit for all the changes, but he’d gotten the ball rolling.
I pushed myself to run faster up the dark road. All I wanted was to be with him. I wanted to hear about his afternoon with Frank, and I wanted to tell him about this conversation with Bonnie.
I wanted to be with him for as long as we had left.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
