Joshua appeared behind her. ‘Shall I translate?’ He flicked imaginary hair over his shoulder and carried on in a high-pitched voice that sounded nothing like Bonnie. ‘Hello, brother who I care about deeply. I heard you coming down the mountain and I’ve been pacing a valley into the living room floor waiting for you to arrive because I’ve beenso worried about you.’ He dropped the voice and patted Bonnie on the shoulder. ‘My work here is done. I’m going to bed.’
Bonnie’s mouth pinched but she ushered me inside, shooting Joshua the finger as he climbed the stairs. ‘What’s so important that you came running down the mountain like an overgrown man-child? Trouble in paradise?’
I hadn’t been inside Bonnie and Joshua’s house for years. Not much had changed. A different blanket rested over the back of the sofa, and a new photo perched on the mantle above the fire. It was of her and Joshua, their faces smeared with dirt as they held up handfuls of carrots.
I followed her through to the kitchen-diner and sat on one of the chairs cluttered around the table. Underneath the lingering scents of the council members and the enticing smells of whatever masterpiece Joshua had cooked was a gentle hint of Aster. Calm seas and ground coffee and the soothing smell of his homemade soap.
‘Come on, Callington.’ Bonnie leant against the kitchen counter while she waited for the kettle to boil. ‘Spit it out. Something major must have happened up in your love nest to send you careening down here to see me.’
I clasped my hands, zeroing in on Bonnie’s heartbeat. ‘Did you know Aster was a witch?’
Bonnie’s movements didn’t falter as she added teabags to mugs and clattered through a drawer to find a teaspoon. ‘Oh yeah. Frank suspected something when he arrived. He asked me to send Aster over this afternoon. Kit popped in after he’d dropped Aster off to report the good news.’
‘You didn’t know before you invited him to the island?’
Bonnie scrunched up her face. ‘How would I have known that? It’s not the kind of thing you add to a grant proposal, especially not if you don’t want to come across as anutter. Most people don’t know about supernatural stuff, Cally.’
I pressed my thumb into the other hand. ‘You don’t mind that he lied to us?’
Bonnie stopped her tea making. She turned to look at me, eyes sharp. ‘What did you do?’
‘I was shocked when Aster came back to the cabin and I didn’t express that shock very well.’ I hurried on when Bonnie’s frown became even more impressive. ‘Doesn’t it scare you, that he hid something major from us?’
Bonnie’s frown cleared, a complicated mix of concern and exasperation taking its place. ‘No one could be scared of that marshmallow dressed up as a human you’ve been sharing your cabin with.’ Bonnie hooked the teabags out of the mugs, then added a dash of milk. ‘Anyway, it’s not like you’re not hiding something pretty damn major from him, is it?’
Not a single skip in Bonnie’s heartbeat. She trusted Aster, through and through. Her belief in his gentle kindness loosened something inside of me.
Then she placed one of the mugs of tea on the table, and all the knots bound right back up. Because only one person left in the world knew exactly how I took my tea.
‘I’m guessing you haven’t told Aster your furry secret?’ Bonnie prompted, sitting down across the table.
I stared at her. This was one of those moments when it became manifestly clear that Bonnie didn’t know what happened directly before our whole family was murdered. I couldn’t claim I was to blame any more, but I wasn’t sure Bonnie would see it that way.
I couldn’t miss this opening. Bonnie and I didn’t have arelationship to ruin. If she hated me after I confessed, then I would go back to hiding in the mountains.
‘I haven’t told him,’ I said slowly, and Bonnie rolled her eyes while she took a sip of scalding tea. ‘The last time I told someone about the pack, they killed our family shortly afterwards.’
Bonnie blanched. ‘What?’
‘I told.’ I stumbled, unable to say the name. ‘I told her about us, that we’re werewolves. And a few days later, she and her grandad murdered almost everyone I loved. So that’s why I’m reluctant to tell Aster about us.’
Bonnie gaped at me. The only other time I’d seen her speechless was when we’d stared out at the stormy sea to the place where a boat had been. Before she could hurl insults at me, I forged on.
‘I don’t expect you to forgive me, and you’re allowed to blame me. I blamed myself for a long time. Aster helped me see that wasn’t right. I might have shared my secret with the wrong person, but I couldn’t control what she did afterwards.’ I took a deep breath. ‘I know you don’t like talking about this, so we don’t have to again. But I’ve always wanted you to know the truth.’
Bonnie made a small, hurting sound. The same sound she made when May dropped a pot of paint over her record collection. The anguish of something precious and irretrievable being lost.
‘Callum,’ she breathed. ‘You blamed yourself?’
‘Yes. I don’t any more, but it’s fine if you do.’
She pressed a hand over her mouth. When she lowered it, her lips trembled. ‘I always thought it was my fault.’
My turn to gape at her. ‘What? How?’
She dashed a hand across her eyes. ‘You know she kissedyou? I talked to her afterwards.’ Bonnie blinked, and the tears she’d tried to bat away fell over her cheeks. ‘Your face after she kissed you was horrible; you were blindsided. My protective older sister mode kicked in when I realised she’d stolen your first kiss.’
That was how I remembered it as well. The tiny handhold that accusations held crumbled away. I hadn’t forced her to kiss me, hadn’t been an active participant at all.
