ASTER
Wiggling. That was what I was doing. Lucas had come up with the name for the weird dithering dance I engaged in when my brain was full to bursting point and I couldn’t concentrate on any task and all my sentences came out half formed and, well, yeah.
Frank had given me too much to think about. An afternoon in his company taught me more about my powers than any of the lessons Dad had cobbled together out of things Mum might have said to him. Even when I left Doughnut and my powers returned to their normal measliness, Frank had helped me see they would always be there. I could do great and wonderful things.
Callum’s epic freak-out had less than ideal timing. I understood why he doubted he could trust me, but the emotional roller coaster he’d taken me on left my already frazzled brain uncomfortably saturated. All this new knowledge battled with the deep ache in my chest that potentially Callum would come back to the cabin and tell me to leave. I hoped Bonnie would confirm I was the most trustworthy ofbeings, but there was a chance she wouldn’t. What if she freaked out about my powers too?
‘I need to calm down,’ I said to the goats trailing me as I wiggled between sitting on the sofa and fiddling with appliances in the kitchen and half unpacking my suitcase. ‘I need to do calm things.’
Lucas had helped me make a list of de-wiggling activities on my phone. I pulled it up now. Number one was talking to my dad.
‘Not an option.’
Dad’s unflappable calm might hold the power to ease me down from the extreme heights of wiggliness, but I didn’t want to explain this situation to him. Callum hadn’t meant to lash out, but Dad wouldn’t see it that way. He was protective with a capitalP. I wouldn’t ever take Callum home and introduce him as my boyfriend, but I wanted Dad to think well of him. So communication with father dearest was ruled out.
Activity two: a long bath.
‘That, I can do.’
Baths at home were essentially a potion I dipped myself in until I came out all wrinkled and lazy. I mixed together every dried flower that promoted calm and relaxation, then stewed in the steaming water until whatever had caused the wiggliness melted away.
Running a calming bath was more difficult with the help of two inquisitive goats. Since I’d let them into the bedroom, they’d taken that as an invitation to follow me everywhere. Albert had chewed on my bag strap while I’d dithered over whether to read the huge book Frank gave me and Tim had bleated like a tiny commander when I sporadically unpacked my suitcase.
They insisted on sampling every one of the driedflowers I added to the bathwater. I could have shut them out of the bathroom, but since a key component of my wiggles was talking to myself, having the goats around made me feel marginally saner.
‘Not for you,’ I grunted, tugging my bright pink boxers from between Tim’s teeth and dumping them in the sink with the rest of my clothes. Callum had a talent for stopping the goats eating everything in the cabin that I lacked. ‘I’ve already sacrificed far too many items of high-quality attire to your unstoppable appetite.’
Stymied in his mission to devour my underwear, Tim skipped over to the bath and rose up onto his hind legs to peer at the water. He fell back to the floor when flower-scented steam billowed around his face.
I stepped into the tub and took a deep breath as I lowered myself into the water. I submerged myself up to my chin, then did some more deep breathing.
Problem was, no matter how much deep breathing I did, I couldn’t get over the twin facts that I was an epic magic user and Callum might ask me to leave Doughnut.
‘Not working.’ I hauled myself out of the tub. Albert shook off the water I splashed over him as I dried myself.
Dressed in my unicorn pyjama bottoms and one of Callum’s jumpers—I couldn’t currently hug him so this was the next best thing—I worked through the rest of Lucas’s de-wiggling list. I sipped calming tea and watched my favourite episodes ofSchitt’s Creekand petted a nearby animal. None of it stopped my brain from feeling like a writhing mass of new information and terrifying possibilities, but at least it distracted me until the cabin door burst open.
Callum stood on the threshold, chest heaving and eyesdesperate. In a good way. His breathing calmed and his gaze softened as his eyes raked over me.
I didn’t wait for him to take off his boots before I threw myself into his arms, my wiggliness finally settling down. I should add hugging Callum to Lukey’s list.
He held me for a long time. ‘I’m sorry, Aster,’ he murmured into my hair.
‘You don’t need to be.’ I rubbed my cheek on his coat. ‘I’m glad Bonnie gave me her stamp of approval.
‘I wish I didn’t need it,’ Callum began, but I cut him off.
‘I get it.’ I gave him one last squeeze, then stepped back. ‘So long as you trust that I’m not going to hurt you, I don’t care.’
‘I do trust you.’ Callum’s gaze was intense. He might be saying other things—deeper ones—with those simple words, but I didn’t want to read too much into it. This thing between us definitely wasn’t a fling but it couldn’t be long term either. Neither of us was allowed to develop proper feelings.
My stomach rumbled as Callum unlaced his boots and shucked off his coat. ‘Haven’t you eaten?’
I was too distracted by a shiny trail smeared across his jumper to answer his question. ‘What is that?’
Callum looked down, then wrinkled his nose. ‘Bonnie’s snot.’
‘Gross.’ I followed him over to the kitchen, where he flicked on the oven and grabbed the hash browns I’d shoved in the freezer. It felt wrong to eat them without Callum. ‘Why are you decorated with your sister’s nasal effluence?’
