“Where the hell have you been hiding him?” I demanded when tall, dark, and dreamy went to use the restroom. Garrett Connelly exceeded every item of my wish list for a serious boyfriend. He was educated, funny, quick-witted, and drop-dead gorgeous, but above all those things, he was out and he looked at me like I could be someone special to him.
“You weren’t ready to meet Garrett because you were too busy getting over a guy you swore didn’t exist.” He pinned me with a look that said he dared me to argue with him. The dramatically arched brow reminded me of a pro-wrestler we both used to lust after when we were younger.
I was laughing hysterically at his shenanigans when I felt a light tug on my sleeve. I turned my head and looked into Kathy Vincennes’ crystal blue eyes. I jerked with surprise, which prompted a soft smile from her. “Kathy?”
“In the flesh.” She smiled softly at me, which threw me for a curve. This was a woman who had once been at odds with my happiness, but you’d never have known it by looking at her that night. “How are you doing?”
“I’m… um, good. How are you?” I asked her.
“Is there somewhere we can talk in private?” she asked. There could only be one topic that we had in common and it was a place I didn’t want to go. “Please. It’s really important.” The soft plea in her voice worried me that something could be wrong with Macio. No matter how things ended between us, I would never wish misery and unhappiness for Macio.
“Sure.” I rose from my chair and tilted my head for her to follow me. I led her to a patio off the side of the restaurant that wasn’t busy that time of the year due to the cooler night air.
“How are you really, Aiden?” she asked once we were alone.
“I’m fine, really.” I felt tension bunching up the muscles in the back of my neck and raised my hand to try and work them out.
“I think you’re as miserable as Macio is.” She held up her hand to stop me when I started to respond. “He’s a mess, Aiden. He’s been a wreck since he broke things off with you and I’m worried for him.” She blew out a soft puff of air and looked away for a few seconds as she pondered her words. “People who don’t know him wouldn’t recognize just how on the edge he is, but I see it and so does my dad. I think Rupert is the only one who thinks he’s doing okay, but that’s because he wants it to be so.” The disdain in her voice told me she wasn’t Rupert’s biggest fan. It was nice to know I had something in common with her, even though it was too late for it to count.
“I’m not sure what you want from me, Kathy. It’s been three months since I last saw Macio. He’s made no move to talk to me or get in touch with me in any way. He’s made his decision and moved on with his life and I’m trying to do the same thing.” Then a thought occurred to me and I asked, “How did you even know where to find me?”
“It was fate.” She smiled like she was truly pleased to see me. “I’ve been debating calling you for some time now, but I kept talking myself out of it. You’d been hurt enough and I didn’t want to cause you any more pain.” I was sure I gawked at her when she reached over and rubbed my arm comfortingly. I was getting a glimpse of the kind-hearted Kathy that Macio knew. “I’m in town for my friend’s wedding and she picked this place for the two of us to have dinner before things get crazy when the rest of the bridal party shows up tomorrow. And here you are.”
“And here I am,” I replied.
“Aiden, he needs you. Can you please call him?”
It killed me to hear that Macio was hurting so badly, but I wasn’t willing to risk my heart to him again. Maybe one day far off in the future it wouldn’t hurt me to see his face or hear his voice, but I wasn’t there yet. If I truly wanted to move on and find happiness, then I needed to stay away from him. “I can’t, Kathy. I’m sorry.”
I didn’t stick around to hear anything else she had to say. I returned to my dinner companions and tried my best to push the things that Kathy said about Macio out of my mind. I had thought I was further along in my healing process over our breakup, but I realized how wrong I was after a few words from Kathy. Still, contacting Macio after all the time that had lapsed would only lead to two things: misery and heartache. I decided the only chance I had for a happy future was to move on and never look back.
I was pleasantly surprised when it seemed that Seth hadn’t noticed I wasn’t as engaged in our conversation as I had been before Kathy interrupted us. The same couldn’t be said for Garrett. “You’re still getting over someone, aren’t you?” he asked when Seth left us alone to say hello to someone he knew at the bar.
I was going to deny it, but then I looked into his honest green eyes and couldn’t do it. “Busted.”
“We’ve all been there.” Garrett reached across the table and placed his hands over mine. “I think something truly amazing could develop between us, Aiden, and I’m willing to wait for you as long as I need to.”
“Garrett, I can’t make you—”
“Any promises. I know.” He smiled patiently at me. “How about you agree to have dinner with me next weekend and we see where things go.”
I studied him for several long moments, looking for any sign that he wasn’t as sincere as he seemed. The last thing I wanted was for him to later say that I misled him when I couldn’t give him what he wanted from me. I knew I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to attempt a relationship right then, but that didn’t mean I would turn away an offer of friendship that could lead to something pure and meaningful down the road. So, I agreed to dinner.
I was a nervous wreck until I reminded myself that it was dinner between new friends, not a date. I relaxed and let my guard down a bit. In fact, he was easier to talk to than Seth because he didn’t know my dating history. He didn’t push for names and details when I told him about trying to move on from someone who was closeted and didn’t show any signs of wanting to love in the open.
It wasn’t exactly a unique situation, so I wasn’t surprised to learn over steaks and lobster tails that he had been through a similar experience in his not too distant past. Instead of crying into our beers, we laughed at some of the predicaments we had found ourselves in. It felt good to laugh with someone who knew what I had been through.
It became quite obvious that our waitress was ready for us to move on when we lingered too long over dessert and coffee. Neither of us wanted to leave and we both were unsure of the next step. Our dallying around was cutting into her earning potential and it appeared to make her nervous. We left her a generous tip for her trouble when we couldn’t delay our goodbye any longer.
“Can I call or text you while you’re in Spain covering soccer?” Garrett asked when he walked me to my car after we left the restaurant.
“I’d like that.”
Our friendship picked up from there over the next month. We tweeted and flirted publicly via Twitter and Instagram, which was a welcome change from having to hide all the damn time. Garrett was on my mind a lot when I had down time and his texts or calls never failed to bring a smile to my face. We went to lunches, dinner parties, museums, and many other places together. I finally got a glimpse of what a healthy relationship looked and felt like. Yet, it was Macio that came to me in my dreams.
I tried so hard to move on from him completely, but it seemed that he still owned a chunk of my heart. Regardless, I could never have what I truly wanted, so I tried to force things with Garrett to prove that I could be physical with someone other than Macio, but it backfired. It started off okay with a sweet kiss on my couch, but I knew it wasn’t right the minute his tongue touched mine. I pulled back from our kiss and just stared at him in defeat.
“It’s okay that you’re not ready,” Garrett said sympathetically. “There’s no expiration date on pain and no guaranteed timeframe for a heart to heal.” He brushed his thumb over my cheekbone comfortingly before he dropped his hands to his lap.
