She nods, her chest squeezing. “I?—”
And then she watches all the puzzle pieces fall into place. He lets out a laugh, full of derision and she feels herself shrink. She nods, wiping away a tear before rushing to explain. “You had so much going on with Lucy and I didn’t want to distract you.”
“Little late for that, Jahlani.”
She shakes her head. “I’m sorry.”
“When are you leaving?”
She swallows, her skin crawling as the words fall past her lips. “I have to … figure some things out. Tie up some loose ends, but as soon as possible.”
He runs two hands through his hair. “Jesus Christ, Jahlani. Am I one of your loose ends?” He asks, looking toward her. “Don’t answer that.”
“Okay,” she says, lowering her gaze to the floor.
“So, what is this? Are you done?” He asks, his voice hoarse.
She nods, fighting a fresh wave of tears. “We have to be.”
He shakes his head, crossing his arms. “We don’t have to be.”
“Roman,” she says, wiping her face in exasperation. “You?—
“Jahlani—”
She points a finger at him, stepping closer. “No.No.You said you wouldn’t do this,” she says, hissing. “You said so.”
“But that wasbefore,” he says, rubbing his chest, like he’s in pain.
“Before what?”
“Before the idea of you leaving became real,” he finishes, his voice cracking.
Jahlani exhales, bracing her hands on her head. “Roman, please don’t make this harder.”
“Did you at least try to find something closer?” he asks, arms outstretched.
Her hands fall to her sides. “It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change anything.”
“It changes everything,” he says, raising his voice. “Iloveyou, Jahlani.”
“Roman,stop?—”
“No. I’m fucking crazy about you?—”
“Roman—”
“And you’re tearing us apart, and I cannot figure it out for the life of me. We could be so happy together,” he whispers, closing the space between them to grab her face. Her hands press to his chest to stop him.
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want this.”
His eyes narrow and he draws her face closer. “You don’t want this?”
She nods. “You asked me that day in the car, and I didn’t know before, but now I do,” she says, trying to sound confident. “I don’t want this.”
