I move over to the jewelry stand to check for new earrings. As I turn around, I notice the same guy walking past the entrance of the store with his friends. I’m hoping he doesn’t look my way, because I’m more shy than people assume. Paige is so outgoing, and I believe that’s why a lot of people don’t realize just how shy I am. Having an outgoing friend helps because she pushes me to step outside of my comfort zone.
Oh, my God; he’s looking at me. I stand here, fixated on him, giving him a little wave.
God, I’m awkward.
He smiles back at me. My cheeks flush as he walks out of sight.
Amariand I round the corner of the store that used to be Wet Seal. Many of the stores I used to shop at as a teenager went out of business years ago. I never knew why. We head into the food court, going straight toward Pretzels Maker. I used to eat these all the time. Paige would get on me when we were younger, saying that I couldn’t just have a pretzel as my meal. That didn’t stop me, though.
After we order our pretzels, we take a seat by the windows overlooking the parking lot. Amari tears a piece of pretzel off and dips it into the cheese.
Watching my daughter grow up is a big blessing in my life, but it also saddens me. She’s getting so big, and the years are flying by. I used to walk around the mall with her in her stroller when she was a baby. I would sit here, in this same spot, rocking her on my lap and staring out the window. My daughter fills me with so much happiness. Without her, I don’t know where I would be.
Amari catches me staring at her and a small smile forms. “You know the first time I laid eyes on your dad was here?” I say.
She shakes her head. “Really?”
“Yup. Right over there by the front doors.” I point toward the front doors that we just walked through. “I was so shy back then, and I couldn’t believe a guy as good-looking as your dad was looking at me.”
She chuckles. “Did he say anything to you?”
“No. We only waved at each other. He introduced himself later at school,” I say, taking a bite of my pretzel, reminiscing about the first time we spoke to each other.
“And then you guys had me?” she questions.
I nod. We’ve always been very honest with Amari. She knows we had her very young. But I don’t think at her age she realizes yet how young sixteen really is. She sees sixteen-year-olds as grownups since they’re able to drive, have jobs, and be more independent.
“How would you feel if your dad and I got back together?” A tight knot forms in my stomach, not knowing how this is going to go. With whatever decision I make, it impacts her too.
Amari gasps and says, “Thank goodness, because I’m sick and tired of holding all these secrets in.”
My brows raise at the confusion and reaction I got. I wasn’t expecting that. “What secrets?”
She shrugs her shoulders. “Dad tells me all kinds of secrets about you.”
My brows furrow as I tilt my head to the side, narrowing my gaze at her. “Like what?” What the hell has been going on behind my back?
“Like how much he still looovvvesss you,” she says, exaggerating thelove. “And he can’t wait to marry you…Oh, and he has your name on his phone underBeautiful.”
What! Has he never changed it from the first time I entered my number on his phone all those years ago? “How long have you known about my name in his phone?”
She takes a sip of her lemonade before saying, “I think it was before I learned how to read, because at first, I thought it was your first name since beautiful starts with a B. But when I finally got old enough to read, I realized it wasn’t your name.”
I can’t help but chuckle a little as she explains herself. She’s kept it a secret this whole time. “Did your dad tell you not to tell me?”
“Yeah. When I asked him about it, he said it’s because he thinks you’re the most beautiful person in this world, and then he put his finger to his lips like this,” she says, putting a finger up to her lips. “So that meant not to tell anyone.”
One thing I learned for sure is that my daughter knows how to keep a secret.
“Does my dad know you still love him?” she asks, curiosity written all over her face.
“I hope so,” I say, the words weighing heavily on me. Every time he’s talked to me about how he’s felt, I always leave him hanging, because I never acknowledged that my love for him has never gone away. “I haven’t talked to him yet. I wanted to talk to you first. You can’t tell your dad anything yet, okay?” I hold her gaze.
She nods her head. “Does Liam know?”
"No, sweetie, he doesn’t,” I say, but I’m sure he knows, and that’s why he questioned our co-parenting.
“Is he going to be sad?” she asks in a whisper.
