I sigh. “He probably will be.” I feel a pang in my heart, knowing I’m going to break his heart. I need to do it sooner rather than later. I can’t keep living under a roof with a man who thinks we’re getting married.
Blakely
“Mom!” I yell through the house as Amari and I walk in. The smell of food invades my senses. I’m not sure what she’s making, but it smells good. Anything my mom makes is always a comfort meal for me. I try to make the same meals as she did when I was growing up, but it never hits the same. “Do you want to go find Bryn while I talk to Grandma?” I ask Amari.
“Are you going to tell Grandma what you told me?” she whispers.
I nod with a smile, looking down at her. There’s a glimmer in her eyes. This must be making her happier than I thought. She smiles and heads up the stairs, her small feet taking one stair at a time, but also trying to be fast.
"Hey, what are you doing here?” my mom asks, walking out of the kitchen and toward the front door. She looks around. “Is Amari with you?”
“Yes. She went upstairs with Bryn.”
She nods and turns back toward the kitchen. “Are you guys staying for dinner? I’m making chicken noodle soup.” She always makes all sorts of soups when the colder months come around.
“I wanted to talk to you about something,” I say. I’m not sure how Liam is going to react. One way or another, I’ll be moving out. My thought was to move in with Kai, but what if he gave up waiting for me? I can’t be left with no place to go.
“Is everything alright?” she asks, turning around with her arms folded across her chest.
“No…Yes…Well…” Now I’m tongue-tied and can’t find the words to say what I want to say.
"Honey, what is it?” she asks, coming to sit in front of me. “I’m worried.”
“Everything is fine, Mom. I just…” Wait? How does she feel about me getting back with Kai? She was there through it all, seeing Kai come over drunk, asking me to give him another chance. She also saw when it stopped and watched with the rest of us as he changed his life around. But she was never a fan of him. I’m sure she is now, since he’s cleaned up his act, but I don’t know if she wants to see us together. She saw how heartbroken I was over him. “What do you think about Kai and me getting back together?”
Her face straightens. A little too straight, as I can tell she’s avoiding a smile. “I. Think. That. Would. Be.” She pauses. “A great thing,” She smiles wide.
So… has everyone been in on this but me? “You do?” I ask, dumbfounded.
She gets up from her chair and walks back over to the stove. “Yeah, why not? You guys are great together?” she says casually.
Now I’m very confused. Paige said everyone thinks we should be back together. When she saideveryone, I thought she onlymeant her and Kevin. Those are the two people I can see talking about it. Not my mom. “And how long have you thought this?”
She shrugs her shoulders with her back toward me. “Oh, I don’t know. A while." She pauses and turns back toward me.
“A while?” I question, my brows raised.
She nods her head, avoiding eye contact with me.
“Mom!”
She narrows her gaze at me and sighs. “It would be worth you two giving it another go. Look how good you two are together.”
“Yeah, it’s called co-parenting.”
She chuckles. “That’s not co-parenting, honey. That’s love.”
Love.
I’m astonished that everyone around me felt this and I had no idea. Why was I so blind to it? Did I suppress my love for Kai so much that it took years for it to resurface again? I was so determined to move on and hide my feelings, and that’s what became my reality. It took me years to accept that Kai and I were no longer going to be together. The pain was so deep, I hid it under surfaces I didn’t know existed. There was always a reminder of the life I wanted—and the life I lost. I’ve always felt deeply for him, but I thought those feelings were because of the care I had for him since he’s the father of my child. Now those feelings I buried so deep are flooding back like they never went away.
“Have you told Liam yet?” my mom asks, coming back and sitting by me.
“No. I wanted to make sure you were fine with us moving back in here first.”
“Of course. This will always be your home,” she says, eyeing me with confusion. “But wouldn’t you rather move in with Kai?”
“Yeah, but I don’t know if he still feels the same way. Either way, it’s not fair to Liam.” I frown, worried about the next conversation I need to have.
