“I never knew you thought this way,” I say, taking a sip of my champagne.
“I’m not the only one,” she whispers.
“What! Who else thinks this?” Have I been too blind to see what everyone else sees?
Her eyes flick downward, avoiding me. “Uh…Mostly everyone.”
“What the hell? Why has no one said anything to me?”
“We’ve given you hints here and there, but you didn’t seem to catch on. Plus, he’s always been there for you. I see the love he has for you. We all do.” She clears her throat. “I was only going to say something if you brought it up. Either way, I’m on your side with whatever you choose. Or who you choose, I should say,” she says with a wide grin on her face.
I tilt my head and narrow my gaze at her, still confused at what she is saying. Kai has always loved me, and I have always loved him. But it never went beyond the love we have for each other because of the love we have for our daughter—or so I thought. Until now, when he confessed everything. But now, listening to Paige makes me wonder how long he’s felt this way before he confessed his feelings for me if he’s been trying all this time, and I’ve been too blind to see it. “What do you mean byhe’s always been therefor me? He has always been there for me when it has to do with Amari.”
She shakes her head. “Seriously, B?” she asks, brows raised. “He has always been there for you. Even when it had nothing to do with Amari. Every time you were down, he was right there to comfort you. Even those times when those stupid boys would break your heart, he was always there.”
“Because he was being nice.”
“Being nice…No, Blakely,” she says, shaking her head. “What ex does that for someone they aren’t still in love with?”
All the memories rush back, swarming my mind. Hehasalways been there for me when I needed comfort. Every time I thought my world was falling apart, he was there, pulling me out of my thoughts. He’s always been the one person who has always made me feel safe. Every time I broke down, he was there. I realize now just how blind I’ve been.
I feel bad for what Liam has had to witness in our relationship. His concerns with the two of us make sense now. If everyone else sees it, and now he does too…
“What about Liam?” I ask.
“What about him?” she asks, filling up our champagne flutes.
“This is going to break his heart. He wanted to be a family. I always wanted a family, too, that’s what drew me to him.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, B. But wasn’t the family you’ve always wanted with Kai? Do you think you were looking for what you wanted with someone else in order to fill that void?”
I pause for a moment, digesting Paige’s words. Have I been searching for what I want when it’s been in front of me this whole time? Was I trying to fill a void? The thought of that hits me, forcing me to question what I’ve been doing these past few years. I have always felt some kind of emptiness in my life. Was I desperately trying to fill a void without even realizing it when the truth has been staring at me this whole time? I take a deep breath, really letting it all out. For the first time in what feels like months, I finally have a clear mind. I know what my decision is, and I can’t believe it’s taken me this long.
Blakely
Spending the weekend with Paige is everything I needed and more. It’s been a while since the two of us have been able to spend quality time together. It brought back a lot of memories from our teenage years when we spent every minute we could together—especially in the summer when we were always having sleepovers. I’m grateful for her—and everyone I have in my life. No one has ever given up on me, even when I made mistakes along the way.
“Mom!” I bend down as Amari runs into my arms. Paige and I got back late last night, and Amari had already fallen asleep at Kai’s, so he took her to school this morning.
“I missed you. Did you miss me?”
“Yeah,” she says, and I grab her hand as we walk to the car.
I know the decision I need to make. I’ve thought about it all weekend with Paige. She helped me make my mind completelyclear again. I’m glad she was honest about everything. It was the honesty I needed. Before talking to anyone, I need to talk to my number one girl first. She asked once why her parents weren’t together. I’ve always made sure that Kai and I were together with her on holidays and at events so she wouldn’t see how different her family dynamic was. I never thought she would question it. What will she think about everything now?
“Before we head home, is there anywhere you would like to go?” I ask as we get into the car.
She wraps her seatbelt around herself and says, “Like where?”
“Anywhere.” The engine hums to life when I turn the car on. “I want to spend time with my girl. I missed you.”
“Hmm, can we go get a pretzel?”
“A pretzel sounds amazing.”
We walk into the mall. The same mall I first laid eyes on Kai. Even though it took me a minute to notice he was looking at me. Shit, have I always been blind?
A flood of memories hit me. I glance around, and being here brings back the early 2000s nostalgia when everyone would come here to hang out. I can still feel the shyness I felt when Kai kept staring at me, even after I went into Wet Seal and gave him that stupid wave. I was so embarrassed.
