“Yes. And one must consider the risk of Mrs Bennet pressuring her into actually accepting the man’s proposal.”
Bingley’s brows raised. “I am surprised by your motivation, my friend. From what you said before, it sounded rather as if you disapproved of the Bennets as much as anything. What does it matter if Mr Collins marries one of the girls? It would keep Longbourn in the family, and one of the five sisters would be taken care of. Hardly a disastrous outcome.”
At that, Darcy was caught short. Bingley was right, of course. Only he could not bear to think of Elizabeth shackled to such a man, subject to his narrow opinions and his control, forced to accept his kisses and his desires —
All of which, if he said it to his friend, would make him sound like a raving lunatic, a veritable lovesick fool. “It would be a disastrous outcome for her,” Darcy said abruptly. He looked up and saw that Elizabeth had re-entered the ballroom, staying close to her father. His chest swelled with emotions he would prefer not to name.
Yet perhaps it was inevitable, and to whom could he speak of it, if not to his closest friend? He lowered his voice, leaning closer to Bingley as he turned his back on the proceedings. “I am much too caught by Miss Elizabeth, try as I might to fight it.”
“Indeed? I am glad to hear it, my friend,” Bingley said, his face brightening. Confusion soon overtook his features. “Is this not good news? I thought you had decided to start looking for a wife.”
Darcy shook his head. “But I will not find one here. I have decided. I must leave Netherfield and go back to Pemberley. It will take time to get over this —” he halted as he searched for the words. He looked over his shoulder to where Elizabeth stood, immediately drawn to her beauty. She was not laughing, or even smiling. But her serious expression did nothing to take away from her quiet beauty.
Reluctantly, Darcy turned away. “Over this infatuation, I suppose I shall call it.”
Bingley seemed even more confused. “Why not pursue her if you find yourself attracted to her? She is a most appealing young woman, and with such a quick wit and easy manner.Had I tried to think of the perfect match for you, I might have described just such a woman —”
“No,” Darcy said firmly. “I could not lower myself.”
Bingley grew still and quiet. “Lower yourself?”
Darcy gestured in frustration, not seeing the dangerous intensity of his friend’s expression. “Yes, of course. Do you not see that any connection with the Bennet family would be a degradation for someone of my station? Can you imagine having company over to Pemberley and having Mrs Bennet constantly flitting about? And heaven forbid Miss Lydia or Miss Kitty should bring their flirtations to my house. I most certainly do not want Georgiana influenced by their wild manners.” He sighed heavily, his heart clenching at the thought of leaving Meryton and Elizabeth. But he had to think of what was best for his family’s honour. “How could I marry Elizabeth when I do not want the two families to become one?”
“I am not nearly as fastidious. I have every intention of pursuing Miss Bennet.” Bingley announced.
Darcy could not stand aside without saying something. He knew that Miss Bingley, as well as her older sister, was worried about Bingley making an unwise connection. “I must caution you about marrying Jane Bennet, my friend. It will not help your place in society. Consequence must have its place, and she can bring you none.”
Strangely, Bingley turned away, remaining silent for so long that Darcy was beginning to wonder if he heard his warning over the din of the music, laughter, and easy chatter going on about them. When he turned back, Darcy was shocked to see his friend’s eyes flash with anger. “Is that really what you think?”
“Bingley, I —”
“If you view the Bennets as so utterly beneath you, surely you must think still less of me and my family. After all, the Bennets are landed gentry, and I am merely the son of a wealthy merchant.” He rolled his eyes heavenward. “Heaven forbid the noble house of Darcy should lower themselves to acquaintances of the merchant class!”
Darcy could only sputter as he tried desperately to find a solution for his blunder. He had never looked down on the Bingleys, nor merely tolerated his association with them. Charles Bingley was his closest friend. “There is a difference in our degree of consequence, to be sure, but that should not prevent our friendship. I have never thought of you as unworthy —”
“Unworthy to be your friend?” Bingley snapped, giving a short, deprecating laugh. “It is not less insulting to be given an exception, just because you are willing to overlook my origins. Like Miss Bennet, I, too, can bring no contribution of consequence to our association.” Bingley looked at him with a look of disbelief. “I cannot believe it. How many years have I considered you my closest friend? I am not your equal in consequence — I have never been unaware of that. But I had no idea that you held those below you in contempt. What must you think of me?”
“You misunderstand —” Darcy tried to defend himself.
Bingley held up his hand and backed away. “No. Perhaps it is just as well that you are leaving. It would be better for us to spend some time away from each other’s company, I think.”
Darcy’s heart dropped into his shoes. Bingley was dismissing him, literally sending him out of his house. “I did not mean —” He halted, unable to think of a way to mend the breach. “Please, try to understand.”
“I must see to my other guests,” Bingley said, shaking his head. He moved away, then turned without another word and disappeared into the crowd.
Darcy stood stock still for a moment, astonished. Yet far wrong than his confusion was his anger — at himself. How had he blundered so badly? Without having the slightest intention of insulting his friend, he had casually handed down a judgement that could be interpreted in no other way. Shame washed over him. He had never seen Bingley as someone lower than himself. He had always considered them equals in every way that mattered.
But to judge by his own words, that was not the case.
It would have been a comfort to tell himself that Bingley’s pique was due to his infatuation with Miss Bennet and his eagerness to defend her family, but Darcy could not bring himself to believe it. Bingley’s anger was all too natural. His assumption that he had the right to tell his friend how to direct his life, and still worse, the condescension of telling Bingley that he was an exception to the rules of social consequence, simply because Darcy had decided he should be —
Darcy was nothing less than disgusted with himself.
He turned and walked away, deciding that it was best he disappeared from the party. He had made a royal mess of everything. As he sat in his guestroom, far from the noise and gaiety happening below the stairs, he tried to think of a way to assuage his conscience.
Surely, anyone in society would have agreed with him. He regretted deeply that he had insulted Bingley, but leaving Netherfield was the right thing for him to do. Was it not?
Darcy paced near the hearth, playing the whole of the evening over in his mind. Perhaps it was best that he wasleaving. It would give him a chance to get over Elizabeth and hopefully find a way to make amends with Bingley. He would have the solace of being in his own home. Once he was far away from Elizabeth, he could forget her and move on.
