Surely it could not be so impossible to forget her as it felt at that moment.
∞∞∞
The following morning, Darcy went down to breakfast in hopes of seeing Bingley before leaving, but it was not to be. Miss Bingley informed him that Bingley had ridden out early to go for a long ride about the country. “Indeed, he said not to expect his return before supper this evening.” She gave him a curious look. “Has something gone amiss?”
“No, not at all,” Darcy said. Of course, it was a lie, but he could not imagine telling her the reason for their falling out. “Well, I will leave you then. I depart for Pemberley this morning.” He turned to leave, but Miss Bingley quickly rose from her seat and came to him.
“What is this? Surely not! You have only just arrived,” she said in dismay. He could see the disappointment shining in her eyes. Unsurprisingly, for Miss Bingley had not made a secret of her hopes to lure him into marriage. But he would not be lured. His thoughts quickly turned to Elizabeth. Yet another reason to leave as quickly as possible. If he could not get her out of his mind and move past this ridiculous infatuation, he might do something drastic.
“I must go. There is pressing business for me at Pemberley. And besides, I do not wish to leave Georgiana aloneso long. It is not fair for her to be left alone for such long stints of time.” He sighed heavily, looking out the large windows and seeing his friend riding at a breakneck pace across the fields. His heart ached at the breach he made between them with his callous words. He should have been more careful in voicing his thoughts.
Or perhaps, Darcy, you should have had better thoughts to begin with.
Miss Bingley looked down at the ground. “Is there nothing I can say to make you stay? It will be terribly lonely here without an ally,” she said, giving a small pout. “If something has happened between you and Charles, I may yet be able to prevail upon him to apologise.”
“You think that Charles is to blame? Why would it not be I who must make amends?” he asked. At the look on her face, he knew he had revealed too much.
“Charles can be reckless. He does not always think before he speaks.” Miss Bingley raised a brow. “However, he is also very forgiving. Almost too forgiving at times, in my opinion. But in this case, I would beg you to stay and see how things can be fixed between you, if that is indeed what is needed. I will speak to my brother, if you think it would be helpful.”
He did not wish to be unkind, but nor did he want to give her hope that there was something between them, or that there ever would be. Accepting her help would only cement what she thought was a budding romance between them. And he did not want to encourage her. “There is nothing for me here. Not anymore. Do tell Bingley that I wish him well, and your sister and Mr Hurst as well.” He bowed slightly and backed away. “Farewell, Miss Bingley.”
He hurried away as fast as he could, ordered his valet to bring down his trunks, and headed away from Netherfield with alacrity. Even the dirt and discomfort of the road would be a welcome distraction — anything, anything to let him forget how he had erred.
Chapter 11
The morning after the Netherfield ball, Elizabeth woke unrested and still furious. Reflecting on Mr Collins’ very public and humiliating proposal, as well as Mr Darcy’s insulting intervention, had driven her almost to distraction. She had barely slept, tossing and turning all night as she replayed the events in her mind. She hardly knew what was worse — Mr Collins’s shocking obliviousness and worse manners, or Mr Darcy’s arrogant presumption.
Of course, she was glad that Mr Darcy had diffused the situation and given her the opportunity to refuse Mr Collins in private. Yet she could hardly imagine an insult worse than that he had obviously intended to save Mr Collins from an unsuitable marriage to her. While he had diffused the awkward moment, he had done so in such a demeaning way that she almost wished he had remained silent, and let her go on with her plan to quietly refuse to give Mr Collins her answer in front of everyone. Even that would have been better that suffering Mr Darcy’s public contempt.
While the rest of the family was at breakfast, Elizabeth paced back and forth in the bedroom, still dressed in only her nightgown, her long brown hair hanging in a messy braid down her back. She tried to remind herself that all embarrassmentpasses; that society’s memory for gossip and scandal is short. However much she might accept the truth of such wisdom, she could not feel it in her heart. Bitterly, Elizabeth thought that if she had the choice, she might never leave her bedroom.
Such blissful seclusion could not last. After breakfast, her mother came to fetch her, stating that her father wished to speak to her and Mr Collins alone in his study. Grimly, Elizabeth dressed in her least becoming gown and did her hair with as little care as she could reconcile with self-respect. She did not care if she had dark circles under her eyes. With luck, her ragged appearance might scare Mr Collins away once and for all.
Privately, Elizabeth suspected she was not so fortunate. She dreaded what she knew was coming. How horrible that she would have to face him! She could only hope that her father would rise to the occasion and help her at last. Even late help would be better than none.
She made her way down the stairs a quarter of an hour later and entered the study, her father and Mr Collins already awaiting her. “Close the door, please, Elizabeth,” her father instructed. Thankful that her mother would not be allowed in the meeting, she closed the door — though she rather suspected her mother and younger sisters would listen from the hall.
“Good morning, Papa,” she said quietly. “Cousin,” she nodded curtly to Mr Collins, then waited for her father to continue.
“Lizzy, Mr Collins and I have been discussing what transpired last evening, and he has something to say to you.” Her father motioned for Mr Collins to proceed.
It was with dread that Elizabeth turned her attention to Mr Collins. He bowed his head slightly before beginning. “Cousin Elizabeth. I know that my attentions have been toomarked to be misunderstood. And while I can now see that they may have been delivered in too public a manner, my feelings still stand. I wish to take this opportunity to assure you that my appreciation for you is genuine, and to ask you again for the honour of your hand.”
He waited with a small smile, obviously suffering no doubts about what her answer would be. Elizabeth looked to her father, wondering what he was thinking, but his gaze was level, betraying none of his thoughts.
He would not help her, then — at least not in this.Elizabeth took a deep breath, resolving to refuse Mr Collins with as much dignity as she could muster.
“I thank you for the compliment of your addresses, Mr Collins, but I must decline them.” She lifted her chin as he gave a slight chuckle.
“My dear Miss Elizabeth, forgive my outburst. But perhaps you did not hear me clearly.”
“Oh no, I assure you, I heard quite clearly. I cannot marry you, Mr Collins.”
Her cousin looked at her father with an expression that bordered on the comical, so twisted as it was between a smile and a frown. “You cannot be serious! Surely, sir, you will prevail upon your daughter to change her mind?” Without waiting for her father to answer, he went on, wringing his hands. “I am not saying that you are without your attractions, Miss Elizabeth, but even with your increase in fortune, you can see that is possible another offer of marriage may never be made to you. Our union can only bring good to the family, as it will unite the Longbourn estate with an independent fortune. I thought this would be in everyone’s interest.”
Elizabeth stepped forward. “Why should an offer of marriage not be made to me?” She did not allow him to answer, knowing the answer would be insulting. “And while I am sure my mother has tried to bring this union about, she is quite mistaken that it would be to everyone’s satisfaction. I am convinced that I am not the woman for you, and you are the last man in the world that could make me happy. Believe me, sir, I will not change my mind.”
Her father seemed surprised by her speech for a moment, but at Mr Collins’ look of indignation, he was at last moved to speak. “You have heard my daughter’s answer, sir. I will not attempt to overrule her. Allow me to say also that your suggestion that you are the only eligible gentleman who might offer for my daughter is offensive in the extreme. Not to mention, far from accurate.”
