His eyes narrowed, and he looked like I had just offended him. But as quickly as that emotion flashed in his eyes, it was gone again. He took a step back and dropped his hands to his sides, lowering his gaze for a moment before meeting my eyes again.
When he didn’t speak, I got off the counter and rubbed my arm in a nervous manner. “I need to think.”
He dragged a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated. But when he spoke again, his voice stayed calm. “Think about what?”
“I don’t know, Callan.” I was starting to get frustrated too. “About sitting in that room while you get blowjobs by two girls but only get hard when I’m in your sight.”
There. I said it.
Callan nodded. “You’re right. I don’t know how this happened, but it’s not what you think. I’m not using you, Lana. That’s all I want you to know.”
“Okay.” I couldn’t say more.
He didn’t push any further. “Take your time.”
He gave me a final look, then turned and left. I stood there, unsure whether to feel relieved or more confused than ever. I didn’t have answers. I only knew I had to figure this out before it consumed me completely.
15
Lana
I hadn’t really slept that night, and the next morning, I was staring at my ceiling, just contemplating everything that had happened with Callan. My mind wouldn’t stop replaying it. His hands, the way he touched me, the look in his eyes when he said he was attracted to me. Every detail had stayed burned into me. It made me feel raw, like something had cracked open and I didn’t know how to close it again. Deep down, I didn’t really want to, anyway.
Holland moved next to me, and I turned my head to look at her. Her blonde hair was all over the pillow, and she looked as beautiful as ever with that sleepy look on her face. She blinked and rubbed her eyes, then she groaned and rolled over toward me. “I hate waking up.”
I chuckled and pulled the blanket up to my chin. “I know you do. You complain about it every morning. But at least you know you’re alive.”
“I’d rather die,” she joked. Once up, she’d just complain about wanting to sleep.
“Have you been up for long?” she asked as she scooted closer until her head rested next to mine on my pillow. Her arm came over my stomach in a lazy half-hug.
“Yeah,” I said quietly.
She squinted at me, then frowned. “You look like you didn’t sleep at all.”
“I didn’t.” I hesitated, unsure if I should tell her. The truth was, Holland always had the best advice, and maybe telling her what happened with Callan over the past two days would help me decide what to do. I took a deep breath and sighed. “I’ve been thinking about Callan.”
That woke her up. Her eyes were open wide. “What about him?”
I exhaled slowly, trying to piece the night together in a way that didn’t sound completely insane. “After you fell asleep, I went downstairs to clean up. He was in the kitchen. We talked, and…something happened.”
Her brows drew together. “Something?”
I nodded.
“Well? Tell me.”
My body tensed. “He touched me. Well, I touched him first the night before, but he made me touch him, and then he put me on the counter and—”
“Whoa, girl, slow down.” She laughed and sat up. “Start from the beginning.”
I laughed nervously and sat up to face her, keeping the blanket around my body. Then I told her every detail and watched her face frow increasingly amused. When I was done, she was grinning. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, first of all…that’s so hot. I know he’s, like, your stepdad—”
“Ex-stepdad.”
