I opened my mouth again, but he didn’t give me the chance to answer. His body pressed against mine, and one of his arms came around my waist to really lock me in between him and the counter. “You can’t. Because you know I’m right.”
I shook my head, trying to find my balance. Funnily enough, I had never felt steadier. “You can’t keep doing this. You can’t say things like that to me.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re making it confusing. Because you—”
He cut me off. “You think I’m trying to confuse you? I’m not. I’m being honest.”
“Honest about what? That you’re using me to get off?”
His jaw tightened, and for a second, I thought he’d snap. But instead, his tone softened. “No. Honest about the fact that I can’t stop thinking about you. About the way you make my head spin without even saying a word.”
I swallowed hard. “You shouldn’t be saying that.”
“Maybe not. But it doesn’t make it less true.”
I could feel my pulse pounding in my neck, and my breathing turned shallow. I hated how much I felt the same about him, but I couldn’t admit to it. The attraction was there, and there was no doubt about it. But it felt too soon. It shouldn’t have been normal to feel all this so fast.
“Callan,” I said softly, though it came out more like a plea than a warning. I was slowly losing control over myself, and my body was doing whatever the hell it wanted. My hands came up and rested against his chest while his moved down my sides. He cupped the backsides of my thighs, and with one swift move, he lifted me up onto the counter.
He positioned himself between my legs, pressing his crotch against mine.
My hands instinctively clutched his naked shoulders, as if doing so would steady me against the whirlwind of emotions crashing through me. His body was pressed hard against mine, and I couldn’t move away. I didn’t want to. Every inch of my body responded to him, like some kind of magnetic pull I couldn’t fight, even though my mind screamed at me to stop.
He didn’t do anything, really, except stay there, just a breath away, his eyes searching mine with an intensity that made my head spin. He wasn’t backing down, and secretly, I didn’t want him to.
“Do you feel that?” His voice was low and calm, but every word sent electric waves through my body.
I swallowed hard. I wasn’t sure if I felt anything beyond the rapid beat of my own heart, pounding so loudly I was sure he could hear it. “Callan…” I repeated, unable to say anything else.
“You can’t deny the attraction, Lana.”
No, I couldn’t. But I didn’t want to admit to it, either.
I shook my head, struggling to find the words. I wanted to tell him to step back, to create some distance between us because this was just too much, but my hands betrayed me, still gripping his shoulders like I was afraid that if I let go, I’d lose myself entirely. “This is too much. You’re too close. Is this supposed to feel this good?”
The last part slipped out of me uncontrolled, and I wanted to slap myself for it. Instead, I just stared at him, my eyes wide. A smirk curved at the corner of his mouth. “It does for me.”
“But why?”
He probably understood that I had never felt like this before, and that’s what scared me. I didn’t want him to use me for it. “This isn’t...what I want.”
“Tell me why.”
“Because you’re confusing me!” I said, my voice cracking slightly. “Before that night, we barely ever spoke. We went out of each other’s way, and I was just a ghost in this house. And now…this.”
“I’m not trying to confuse you, Lana. I’m being honest with you. I’m telling you how I feel.” For a second, something in his expression softened. His thumbs brushed my waist, unconsciously making me keep calm.
“I can’t help but think you’re using me.”
His brow furrowed. “You think I’m using you?”
“Yes,” I said quietly. “Maybe not on purpose, but that’s what it feels like. It’s all happening so fast. It feels like you’re only doing this to make your job easier. I don’t want to be your toy.”
He stared at me with his jaw tense, and his breathing heavier than before. “You’re not a toy, Lana. Stop thinking that you are. Truth is, you’re the only thing that feels real right now.”
I frowned. “But that’s exactly what I’m saying. You’re using me to keep doing your work. And I don’t gain anything from that.”
