I watched as Rina continued sketching. But her hand was a little shaky; it appeared I’d frightened her, too. Why were ghostsso shocking? There were many reports of us existing, so why the shock? Silly living humans.
I turned away and went to seek Mariah. I found her in the office, staring into space. Misery was written across her face, and I knew she needed Benedict.
Benedict
“Go to Mariah,”Cat whispered. I put the pile of wood down that I’d been carrying and hurried to the office.
Mariah looked at me with tears in her eyes, and I guessed what she’d done.
“Oh, darling!” I exclaimed softly and hurried over to her, wrapping her in my arms, and she began weeping on my shoulder.
“I couldn’t help it, Benedict, I had to.”
“Mariah, you have to stop this. You’re torturing yourself, and I forbid this to continue.”
“You forbid it?” Mariah hiccupped.
“Yes. There are steps a man can take to ensure he doesn’t have a child,” I said. I would never take that step, but it shocked Mariah.
“What?”
“You won’t torture yourself or grieve what may have been if I remove my fertility from the equation,” I threatened.
Mariah was suitably shocked, and her tears dried up. “You’d do that?” she gasped in horror.
“Yes.” I pried her fingers open and removed the pregnancy test she clutched in her hand. It showed a negative, and I knew I’d guessed right.
“I took it early,” Mariah admitted.
“This will stop, Mariah. I won’t have you keep upsetting yourself like this. I told you, I don’t need a child to be happy, I have you. But you can’t seem to accept that. Am I not enough for you?” I demanded.
Mariah looked horrified. “What?” she asked, scrubbing at her eyes.
“Is your life not happy with just me? Am I not enough?” I asked.
Mariah began shaking her head. Her hands came up and cupped my face. “I am unable to imagine life without you. That’s something I never want to contemplate.”
“Then stop this. I can’t stand watching you in pain and especially with something that’s beyond our control. Mariah, your tears tear me apart, and I hate not being able to give you what you want. You fought for me, sacrificed for me, even came back for me when I tried to kill you.”
“You weren’t yourself then!”
“Not the point. I nearly ripped your throat out. Vemis had control of me then. But you ignored that and came for me. I would die for you, Mariah, and it’s killing me not being able to fulfil your wishes. It makes me… inadequate.”
“No!”
“Yes. That’s how I feel.”
Guilt crossed Mariah’s face, and I felt a pang of my own. But I needed her to stop. Mariah wasn’t able to keep doing this. It was literally destroying the woman my wife was. I didn’t believe Lucifer had saved my life only to torture us like this. No, children would come when it was time. No matter how much Mariah tested or tried, she couldn’t force a pregnancy.
“I’m sorry,” Mariah muttered in a small voice.
“Don’t be sorry, Mariah, just let nature take its course,” I whispered as I held her tightly. This time, I hoped my words got through to her.
Mariah
How could I tell Benedict how this was tearing me apart? I wanted nothing more than to hold our child in my arms. As he held me, I swore to try and do better, but I knew deep down I was too emotional about this. The rest of the family were getting pregnant at the blink of an eye, apart from Benedict.
I felt I was letting him down. Lucian had once mentioned our duty in ensuring the Norton line didn’t die out. Not like it had been believed after he and his siblings had died. So far, five out of six Norton’s had reproduced. It was me holding Benedict’s line back. He deserved a child. After three hundred years of suffering, Benedict should have everything he dreamed of.
