“I never lived there with Delia. I had all that done after she passed away.”
“Not that. When I went to the bathroom, I lookedinto your bedroom.”
Will closed his eyes, well aware of what she would have seen.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snooped.” Her voice cracked, and she took a deep breath. “But I think it was for the best because, picture aside, I can’t seem to get past all of the rest of this.”
“So that’s it?” Will asked, anger flaring inside him. “A few memories and a picture on my nightstand are enough for you to end this without even trying?”
“No. This is about pain and heartache. And the fact that I feel it deeply each and every time a memory surfaces. You kiss me, and I remember seeing you kiss her and how much it hurt me back then. You lay your hand on my back to guide me somewhere, and I remember how you did that with Delia. I remember seeing how you cherished her and how I had wished that was me.” She paused as tears spilled down her cheeks. “I know it must sound ridiculous to you since I wasonly sixteen, but it was so very real to me. I truly believed that you were going to be my husband. You can’t imagine the pain my teenage heart endured. This was more than just a crush. So much more.”
“You’re right, I don’t understand. I’m sorry about what happened back then, but I didn’t know. And at that point, even if I had known, there was nothing I could do.”
“And you wouldn’t have wanted to do anything about it anyway. You had your love, your wife.”
Will couldn’t deny what she said. “What can I do to get you to give us a chance?”
“Ididgive us a chance. That’s why I accepted your date invitation. It’s why I kissed you. It’s why I sat with you this morning.” She lifted her head and stared at him, her green gaze intense. “You tell me what to do. You tell me how to make it not matter to my heart that I’m your second choice. That if you had a chance to do it all over again, you’d probably do what you could to keep Delia from dying. That she, now and forever, will have a large part of your heart. That the things I imagined us learning together, you’ve already done with her.” Her voice again cracked with emotion. “Tell me how to make none of that matter. Tell me!”
Confusion and hurt pushed away the anger, leaving Will feeling helpless and desperate. “I don’t know what to tell you. All I know is that I’m a different man now than I was eight years ago. And the man I am today is choosing you.”
Amy’s expression crumpled into tears as she lifted a clenched hand and pressed it to her heart. “But you chose her first.”
And there was absolutely nothing Will could do to change that. He looked at Amy, his heart aching as he realized that, for the second time in his life, he was losing the woman he loved.
She wrapped her arms across her waist and seemed to curl into herself as if to ward off any more pain. Knowingthat there was nothing left to say, no words that could give soothing for her pain or freedom from his past’s effects on her, Will swallowed hard and got up from the swing.
His steps leaving her were as slow as the ones that had taken him to her earlier. He had known it wasn’t going to be good, and his intuition had been correct. Clearly it wasn’t in God’s plan for him to have a love that lasted.
As he walked from the trees to the backyard, he realized the family was all still gathered there. Not interested in any conversation, he went to the person he figured would give him the least grief at this point.
He moved towards where Cami still stood with Josh. Her gaze, full of sadness, was on him as he approached her.
“Would you guys be willing to keep Isabella here for the night? She doesn’t have anything to wear, but I’m sure Julia has a few things she could loan her.”
Cami nodded. “Of course.” Her gaze went past his shoulder toward the lake. “Is she okay?”
“No. And there’s nothing I can do about it. Someone should have told me about her feelings sooner. I had no idea.”
Josh clapped a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, bro. I didn’t know anything about it until Cami told me the other day.”
“I’m going to go now. I don’t think she’ll come back as long as she thinks I’m still here.”
Will turned and walked toward the side of the house, his head bent.
“Will?” He heard Laurel call out to him, but he kept on going. Let Cami and Josh fill them all in on the details. He didn’t think he could do it right then.
Once at the apartment, he went to his office. He slumped down in his chair and stared at the framed picture that sat on the corner of his desk. It wasn’t the same picture that was on his nightstand. That one had been taken on theirhoneymoon. This one had been at their wedding. He reached out and snagged it, staring intently, not at Delia, but at himself. That guy seemed so young now. But he had loved Delia deeply and would have moved the world for her.
Weathering that first storm during her pregnancy had been a major hurdle, but Will realized now that all the concessions to make her happy had come from him. Her argument had been that he was getting the child he wanted, so she should get everythingshewanted. And he’d been young enough to agree to her demands. He would like to hope that had she lived they both would have matured and learned how to make decisions together, and how to deal with the rough patches in their marriage in a healthier way. But it was possible that they wouldn’t have.
The small part of him that was still that Will from eight years ago would always love Delia. But what he’d told Amy had been absolutely true. The man he was now had chosen her. Too bad it hadn’t made any difference at all.
His breath caught in his lungs as he laid the framed picture face down on his desk.
~*~*~
Amy hadn’t wanted to return to the manor and face the people there. No doubt they would be angry at her for leading Will on and hurting their brother. If they could only understand how much she hurt, too.
