Nate knew Will was basically saying that she hadn't changed her mind about ending their engagement. For now, he'd respect her decision as he had for the past three years, but having learned this news didn't change how he felt about her. Until he'd heard the news, Nate had thought maybe his feelings for her weren't as strong as they'd once been. But the shock of finding out about her diagnosis had ripped that illusion away.
He loved her as much now as he ever had. Was it possible that she too still felt something for him? The thought that it might be caused a spark of hope to flare to life. He knew overt actions would likely cause her to retreat from him, but he could be subtle. Show her that he was there for her. Show her she was not alone. And maybe when she realized he wasn't going anywhere, she'd open her heart to him again.
~*~*~
When her alarm went off, Lily debated shutting it off, rolling over and going back to sleep. The exhaustion that had plagued her in the days leading up to her departure from London had still not totally loosened its grip on her. She'd had to stop working on Nate's invoices earlier because she'd recognized the fogginess overtaking her brain for what it was. Though she'd basically come to terms with her diagnosis, she still got frustrated with the symptoms that prevented her from doing things the way she used to.
Moving slowly, she sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She reached out to pick up the brush she'd set on the nightstand earlier and used it to smooth out the tangles from her nap. After finishing, Lily sat for a minute, bracing herself for having to deal with Nate again. Though her heart betrayed her by still feeling so strongly for him, itwas times like this when the exhaustion and fogginess served to remind her why she'd ended things with him in the first place.
She wasn't the woman he'd fallen in love with. No longer could she go for long hikes or stay up super late without having to pay the consequences for that at some point. Such a large outlay of energy would require a time of recovery. Sometimes an extended one. Occasionally she did it, but she'd learned early on that it was better to keep a balance between activity and rest or she risked a relapse.
The trip home had put her on the edge of one which was why she'd tried to keep her physical activity to a minimum and get rest when she could. But for now, she needed to get herself onto her feet and down the stairs to eat dinner with the family. And though she wasn't super hungry, she knew that she needed a good meal to give her body the fuel it needed.
As she left her room, she spotted Lance coming from his and Jessa's suite.
"How is she?" she asked as Lance joined her at the top of the stairs.
"Hanging in there." He held his arm out toward her.
Grateful that he didn't make a big deal out of helping her, she slid her hand into the crook of his elbow and put her other hand on the banister.
"I hear you've been helping Nate with his paperwork."
"Yes. I know he struggles with that, and it's something I can do without expending too much energy."
"I'm sure he appreciates it. I'm glad I don't have to take care of that side of things with my company."
Once she stepped off the last stair, Lily slid her hand from his arm. She really didn't want to walk into the kitchen looking like she needed help to put one foot in front of the other.
The kitchen was crowded with everyone there now,including their kids. Though she tried not to, Lily couldn't keep herself from scanning the room for Nate. She spotted him standing off to the side talking to Will. When his gaze caught hers, he stopped talking and just stared at her for a moment. He gave a little nod of his head then turned his attention back to Will.
Lily moved to stand against the wall for support, telling herself not to be disappointed by his quick acknowledgment and then dismissal of her.
It's what I want.Too bad her heart didn't agree.
Once Lance said a prayer for the meal, the parents moved toward the food on the counter to help the little ones load up their plates. After the kids had been ushered outside to eat at the picnic table, things quieted and the adults were able to get their food. Lily contemplated following them outside as well but had a feeling the day had only gotten hotter since she'd been out earlier with Cami. Once she had food on her plate, she sat down at the table.
Amy slid onto the chair across from her. "I'm going to stay here and enjoy a little quiet. After spending the day with those kids, I need it."
Lily smiled as she took a sip of her water. "I can only imagine. Something like that would completely wear me out."
"You staying in here, babe?" Will asked as he brought over his plate filled with food.
"Yeah, I was just telling Lily I'm gonna let the parents deal with their own kids for a while."
Lily was relieved when she saw Nate follow Matt out the back door. "I'm staying inside because heat doesn't really agree with me anymore."
Will settled into the chair next to Amy. "What happens if you are out in the heat?"
"It can trigger a flare-up of my symptoms if it's too intense. The big things for me are stress, getting overtired and heat."
"So I guess you're going to love winters now," Will said as he stabbed at a carrot on his plate.
"Love might be stretching it, but I'll definitely enjoy them more."
Lily ate some of the salad she'd taken, noticing as she did that Amy elbowed Will and gave him a look.
Will cleared his throat and took a drink from his cup. "Uh, I guess I should let you know that I told Nate about your MS."
