CHAPTER NINE
The revelation stabbed her like a red hot poker. She'd known that Will would likely tell him at some point, but suddenly Nate's dismissal of her earlier made sense. Hoping her distress didn't show on her face, she said, "Guess he knows how lucky he was to have dodged that bullet now."
Amy frowned, her brows drawing together. "I didn't get that feeling."
"Well, once he decides to do a little research on how the disease can progress, he will feel that way."
Will reached across and touched her hand. "Are you mad at me?"
"No. I knew he'd find out sooner or later. It was probably better coming from you than anyone else."
"And I have to agree with Amy. I didn't get the feeling he was relieved that he wasn't engaged to you anymore because of it."
Lily shrugged. "It really makes no difference. I still believe I made the right decisions when I ended theengagement and left here. That time away was important for me."
"I can see that you've changed since then," Will commented. "I just don't want you to ever doubt that we're here for you now."
Though she knew it was natural that much of the conversations would go back to her disease during the first little while after her return, Lily did look forward to being able to talk about other things. It was still new to them, but the newness of the diagnosis had worn off for her.
"So are you planning to go back to Dallas?" Lily asked Amy.
Amy smiled as she looked over at Will. Lily's heart clenched at the look that passed between them. She was happy Will had found love again after losing Delia so tragically. And as she watched him and Amy interact, she noticed that he was much more relaxed and at ease than she remembered him being with Delia. And it was hard to miss how much Will’s daughter, Isabella, adored Amy.
"For now I'm going to be hanging around Collingsworth. At least until Jessa's baby is born and they don't need me anymore." Amy grinned as she batted her eyelashes at Will. "Beyond that...well, we'll just have to see."
Before Will could respond, the back door opened. Lily looked over and saw Nate coming inside, plate in hand.
He approached the counter where the food was. "So this is where you guys are hanging out."
"Yeah, we're keeping Lily company," Will said. "Join us."
Lily shot Will a look. It was one thing that he'd decided to tell Nate about the MS, he didn't have to keep trying to get them together. It wasn't going to happen, and it would just make things awkward.
"Sure." Nate added some food to his plate and then sat down in one of the empty chairs at the table.
Lily was grateful he hadn't seated himself right next toher. She pushed the food around on her plate with her fork before taking another bite of the salad. The knot in her stomach made it difficult to want to eat.
"So why are you inside instead of enjoying the nice summer evening?" Nate asked as he spread butter on a roll.
Will glanced at Lily, his eyebrows rising.
Swallowing the bite she'd just taken, Lily said, "My body doesn't do too well with heat anymore."
Nate lowered his fork to his plate. "Heat bothers you?"
Lily nodded, not meeting his gaze. She was pretty sure he was remembering all the times they'd done things together even on the hottest of days. Whether it had been going for a hike or riding bikes, she'd never hesitated to participate. Though they hadn't done it on a regular basis because of his other responsibilities, heat had never been a reason not to do something. However, it was something she had to factor into her decisions now.
"So you have to check the temperature every day?" Amy asked.
"Only if I'm planning to be outside for any length of time." With the conversation once again on her disease, Lily tried to suppress her frustration. Would the MS now define who she was in the eyes of her family? Would her limitations be all they would see?
Will pushed his now-empty plate away from him. "Are there days when you feel completely normal?" He leaned away from the table, slipping his arm across the back of Amy’s chair.
"Normal isn't a word I use much to describe my days anymore." Lily moved her plate a few inches so she could lean her arms on the edge of the table. "But yes, there are days where I definitely feel like I could do more than I can on other days."
"How soon do you know what kind of day it's going to be?" Nate asked.
Against her better judgment, Lily looked at him. She thought she might see pity there, but right then, all she saw was concern. "It's usually something I determine as the day goes along." Though she wished for a different topic of conversation, she decided that the sooner they understood about it, the better. "I'll give you an example that might help you to understand how my days unfold. Imagine that at the beginning of your day you were given a dozen spoons. For each thing you plan to do that day, you must give up one spoon." She looked at Amy. "How would you spend your first spoons?"
