“Yeah, I’ll let Nelly know I can’t make it. We can stay in tonight. Let’s have that movie date.”
Purple bruises the size of his palm appeared on my biceps by the next morning. Luckily, it was February and I could easily cover them up. Otherwise, people might think I was in an abusive relationship or something.
* **
Present Day
“Morning, Lydi-bug.”
“Good morning, Lydia.”
My dad and Sheila were sitting at the kitchen table, wide-awake and happy as can be, despite it being 7:30 in the morning.
“Morning.” I offered them both a tight smile and lumbered over to the coffee maker.
“What’s on your agenda for the day?” Dad asked.
“I don’t know. I’m working with Seb in a little while, but otherwise, I don’t really have much going on. Why?”
“No reason. Just checking in with you, that’s all. Did you see the note that I left about dinner?”
I came home after working at SD Ink all day to find a homemade plate of meatloaf and mashed potatoes waiting for me in the fridge. I appreciated it, but I hated to think that he thought he needed to take care of me. I could take care of myself.
“Yeah, Dad. Thanks. It was good,” I said.
“Don’t thank me. That was all Sheila’s doing.”
I turned around, the smell of coffee surrounding me as the single-serve machine whirled to life. Dad and Sheila were both sporting those goofy grins, the kind that tells everyone around them that they are completely smitten with each other.
“Thanks, Sheila. I appreciate it.”
“Of course, honey. It’s no bother.” Sheila stood from the table and dropped a quick kiss to my father’s cheek. “I better be off to the diner. See you in a bit.”
“Have a good day, hon,” my father said, his eyes watchingher as she retreated from the kitchen to start her day.
My coffee finished brewing, so I doctored it up with some cream and sugar and took a seat at the table with him.
“How’s things been going for you? You liking the work that Sebestian is giving you?”
“It’s good, Dad. I’m good,” I told him for the millionth time. Every morning was like this. I knew he was just looking out for me, but his constant checking in made me feel like a kid again.
His eyes softened, and he reached over, patting my hand like he didn’t believe me. Which was fair, because truthfully, I was far from good. My senses were on overload constantly, giving me a headache in the front of my skull. Every surprise noise had me on high alert. Nightmares still plagued my sleep most nights.
But it was the voices in my head telling me that I didn’t know what I was doing, that it wasn’t as bad as I made it out to be, that without him I’d be nothing, that really got to me.
What if he was right?
“I’m going to the market later. Is there anything you need me to pick up for you? Do you have what you need for… feminine stuff?”
I closed my eyes and huffed in a large whiff of steaming coffee.
“Yeah, Dad. I’m all set.”
“I don’t mind, Lydia. I know you don’t have much to your name right now. Doesn’t bother me to buy any of that. It’s been a while since I’ve had to, I’ll give you that, but I can stock up on whatever you need.”
Christ, this was embarrassing. Rock bottom had officially just hit a new low—the moment when your father has to buyhis twenty-eight-year-old daughter’s tampons. And the worst part was, it actually would be kind of helpful to not have to spend any of my measly check on the necessities of being a woman.
The very little pride I had left wouldn’t allow me to sink to that level. “I already got paid from Seb. I’ve got it covered, Dad,” I said, harsher than I intended.
