“Sure. Yeah. Okay.” His head fell, his eyes downcast. Guilt nagged at me. He was just trying to help, and I shut him down. What he didn’t understand was that him constantly offering to help me was feeding into all my insecurities and self-doubt.
I let out a controlled breath and swirled my coffee cup lightly. “I’m almost out of toothpaste though. If you’re going to the market, could you pick some up for me?”
“Sure thing. I’ve got it.” He smiled and got up from the table. He rinsed his mug in the sink before putting it in the dishwasher. On his way out of the kitchen, he called back to me, “Don’t forget to switch your laundry over, honey. It’s been in the washing machine since yesterday. You don’t want it to get a smell.”
“Thanks, Dad.” My jaw clenched, my eyes rolling to the back of my head. But as soon as I was done with my coffee, I went and switched my laundry. At least now, I didn’t have to fight with my brothers about not doing their chores too.
* * *
The whitecaps created by the waves glistened in the shining sun. I had taken to coming down to the old military fort bythe ocean in the morning lately, right after I picked up another coffee from Flour Power Cafe. It was better than sitting on the couch with my dad, always conscious to look and act a certain way to fend off any more questions, or worse… pity. Plus, it was quiet here in the winter, peaceful. The summers would bring legions of tourists, especially around the Fourth of July, but really from Memorial Day to Labor Day, it was jam-packed with people just passing through.
My phone buzzed for the sixth consecutive time. I didn’t bother to even look at it. I knew what it said.
Get home, Lydia.
I miss you, Lydia.
I’m so sorry. It’ll never happen again.
Bitch, answer your fucking phone.
I love you, baby. Please come home to me.
I could take a guess at what text number six was probably going to be. I didn’t need to see it.
Number seven and number eight came in right on top of each other. This shit was ruining my perfectly peaceful morning.
I’d told Blake weeks ago that I wasn’t coming back. It had happened again, after he promised me it wouldn’t. It wouldn’t be the last time, because it hadn’t been the last time yet. I wasn’t stupid, although I sure felt like it.
I didn’t think he believed me when I told him it was over. He did the crazy calling and texting thing for a while, but then it stopped. I wondered if he had found someone new already. But if he did, that seemed to have ended because he was blowing up my phone again.
A lone seagull walked across the parking lot, looking for discarded food, when a car pulled up a few spots down fromme, scaring it away.
Text number nine vibrated in my cup holder, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I grabbed my phone, intent on blocking him, when I realized that two of the messages were part of a new group chat.
Maeve: Hey ladies! I added Lydia to the group. I’m dying for a girls night! Is everyone free on Friday night?
Scarlett: I am! And I need to get out of this house. Luke is acting like I’m nine months pregnant with triplets and can barely function. He’s cute though, so I let it slide.
My first reaction was to remove myself from the group. I wasn’t exactly a girls’ girl, although I wasn’t a guys’ girl either. I didn’t see myself having anything in common with my brothers’ wives and fiancées though. My group tended to be… well, I couldn’t really remember the last time I’d had a group of friends to hang out with on a Friday night. Blake and I would chill with his friends sometimes, but we stopped doing that a while back. Long after I had already stopped hanging out with Lisha and Nelly and the crew.
It had been easier to distance myself from them at the time. They would have worried about me. And I would have told them they were ridiculous. I didn’t want to have to defend my relationship or explain the mystery bruises that popped up periodically.
After a while, they stopped calling me to hang out too. Invites to fun events dried up as we drifted apart.
Another text on the group chat came in while I was lost in thought.
Claire: I am so there! I can’t wait to tell you guys all about our honeymoon
Scarlett: All about it??? Are we getting aplay-by-play? Do I need popcorn?
Maeve: I’m not sure Reid’s a ‘tell-all’ kind of guy…
Claire: I don’t mean the sexy time stuff… although seriously, married life is the best. 10/10 highly recommend. It just hits different.
These ladies had me smiling despite myself. I figured that had to count for something. Plus, my brothers wouldn’t appreciate me blowing off their lady friends.
Me: Hi. Sister here. Lalalalala. This is me sticking my fingers in my ears so I don’t have to hear about how anything *hits*
