5
Lydia
Twelve Months Ago
I slipped on my chunky black boots and grabbed my purse from the hook by the door. Just as I was reaching for the handle, the door swung open toward my head.
“Whoa,” I hollered, backing up a step.
“Are you leaving?” Blake asked, depositing his briefcase on the floor. He looked me up and down, and not in a good way.
“Yeah, Nelly and I are going to a gallery opening in Chelsea.”
“You’re going to hang out with some other guy, looking like that?”
It wasn’t like my gay, gender-fluid friend was a threat to our relationship. Still, I looked down at my outfit like I was seeing it for the first time. My top was mostly see-through mesh with a thick black bandeau strip that covered my breasts. I had tucked it into a pair of tuxedo pants and threw on an oversized blazer that I left open.
“I look good,” I said, shimmying into his arms. “Don’t youlike when your girl looks good?”
“Only when she’s with me.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he backed me into the wall behind us. My back hit the wall harder than I expected, forcing the air from my lungs with the impact. I leaned in to give him a kiss.
“Change,” he growled.
Laughing, I looked up at him, expecting to see a smirk on his lips or his desire swirling in his eyes.
I was met with a cold, hard stare instead.
My brow furrowed in confusion. “Are you serious right now? I’m not going to change.”
“Yes, you are.” His voice was laced with anger. I pushed against his chest, trying to get some space.
“I’m meeting Nelly in ten minutes. I’m not changing. Ow.” He grabbed my arms, holding them tightly and pinning me against the wall. My heart rate climbed into my chest. He was scaring me. He had never acted like this before.
“You’re not leaving the house in that slutty little getup, looking like a whore for sale. I said change.” He slammed my back against the wall, winding me for the second time.
“Get off, Blake. You’re hurting me,” I told him. Tears prickled in my eyes from the fear.
His glassy gaze cleared, and he dropped his hold on me, only to pull me into his arms in a tight embrace.
“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to hurt you. It’s just, thinking about you out there looking like this… I know guys, baby. They’re going to be crawling all over you. That’s not what you want, is it?” He backed up to look at me, his thumb caressing my cheek while he held my jaw in his grip. “Are you already done with me? Ready to move on to the next?”
“Blake, no. It’s just an outfit.” I rubbed my hands up and down his arms, trying to calm him down. This was so out of character from his usual playful nature. “What’s gotten into you? You scared me.”
“I’m so sorry. I feel so bad that I hurt you, baby. Come on, let me make it up to you. I’ll make dinner for us, give you a massage while we watch any movie you want. I just love you so much.”
“I know, but I’m supposed to be meeting Nelly right now.”
His face fell, despair and desperation playing in his eyes.
“You know? You don’t love me anymore?”
My heart stuttered. “What? No. Of course I love you.” Blake was the most amazing boyfriend. He showered me with love like no one else ever had. He had to know how much I loved him too.
“Don’t go. Not tonight. Please, baby. I need you here. I need to make sure we’re okay.”
I glanced at the door, then back to Blake, the despondent look on his face haunting his features.
