She undoes her belt and stands, holding her hand for me to take.
“Don’t worry, Johnny and I will be with you,” she says with a smile. “Thanks for coming. It means so much to all of us.”
Fear has me paralyzed.
I can’t speak, so I do the next best thing—smile and nod.
It doesn’t take long to get everything sorted, and now we’re in the Hummer, winding through the streets of Zurich toward the Rutherford Regent Hotel.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt this physically ill in my life.
My stomach twists. My skin is clammy. Every breath feels too shallow, too sharp.
The thought of seeing Colt after so long—of facing whatever version of him exists now—sends my pulse into a frantic, erratic rhythm.
What if he’s not the same man anymore?
What if the drugs have taken over?
What if he looks at me and feels…nothing?
Anna must sense my fear because she takes my hand and doesn’t let go. Her grip is firm, steady, like she knows I’m on the verge of breaking.
The car is silent, thick with the weight of all the things wearen’tsaying.
Because this could go so horribly wrong.
What if he’s happy snorting his way into oblivion?
What if he doesn’t want me back?
What if he won’t change, won’t fight for himself, for us?
And the worst one—the one I can’t evenbreathepast…
What if I came all this way for nothing?
I don’t take rejection well.
We all know that.
It’s not something I’m proud of, but it’s woven into my bones, impossible to shake.
Lost in the storm of my thoughts, I don’t even register that we’ve stopped until the door swings open.
I blink up, my pulse hammering in my ears, as the driver stares at me with a blank expression.
Waiting.
Waiting for me to step out.
Waiting for me to face whatever’s on the other side.
“Dee?” Anna’s voice cuts through the fog, snapping me back to the present.
Right. Yes.Move.
I slide across the seat and step out of the car, my legs feeling like lead, shaky and unsteady beneath me.
