I think that sounded resigned, mature, and not whiny. Hopefully. Something flashes through Jake’s eyes and I think it is respect. Whatever it was, it’s set butterflies off in my stomach.
“Are you ready to tell me about the hunters you were with?”
I suck in a breath. Part of me wants to panic, clam up and refuse. But I finally made my decision last night, when I dropped the knife, and it feels good. My head actually feels peaceful for the first time in an age. No more angst. No more endless arguments and counterarguments with myself.
I shrug, but I don’t think I’ve convinced Jake that I’m cool. “What do you want to know?”
His eyes widen in surprise, and I feel bad. I’ve been nothing but an ass to him. I’ve tried to kill him far too many times and refused to tell him anything. No wonder he is taken aback by my sudden u-turn. He is never going to trust me, let alone like me. The truth of that burns, but I don’t let the pain show.
He is clearly happy to fuck me, but I’m not so naïve as to think there is any more to it than that. Men love sex. Shifters really love sex. Alphas will dick anything. I know that much. And if that’s all I’ll ever get from him, I’ll take it. Gladly.
“How long were you with them for?” he asks, startling me from my dirty and morose thoughts.
“For as long as I can remember.”
“You didn’t choose them? Choose to be a hunter?”
I shake my head but the answer isn’t as simple as that. I know I didn’t choose them, because I don’t remember anything else, so how could a young child choose anything? But being a hunter? I had loved it. Fuck know’s if it’s because I swallowed everything they taught me or if it’s because I’m plain evil.
“Did you know other shifters?”
That one is easy. I shake my head again.
“Did you know anything about being an omega and a shifter?”
I take a deep breath. “They said because I was small, shifters would want to fuck me. That’s why I could get them to follow me into traps.”
A myriad of different emotions flow across his face. My brain sees the pity and latches onto it. I feel my cheeks flush. I don’t want his pity. I want him to like me.
“Do you know other hunters?”
My heart pounds. This is it. This is the moment of no return, where I betray everything and side with the monsters. Not monsters, werewolves, I mean shifters.My people.Fuck. This is hard.
“Some. We would meet up with other clans sometimes. But clans usually like to stick to themselves and plenty wouldn’t tolerate me, they thought I should be put down.”
That’s definitely pity on his face. Pity and horror. I look away, I don’t need to see anymore of that. His arms tighten around me and I just want to snuggle against him but I’m not so weak as all that.
He is not saying anything else. It’s nice laying here in his arms. I feel safe. Wanted. Seems like a bit of dick was all it took to turn me. Who knew I’d like it so much? Become a whore for it? I grimace. Not this again. I made my decision, I’m not going to angst over it anymore. It’s far more than loving Jake’s cock that has made me want to turn to the werewolf side. Far, far more. It’s their kindness. Their lack of savagery. The decency with which they treat me and each other. They are nothing like I was taught to believe. The clan was wrong. The clan treated me far, far worse.
“Do you know how to find them?” he asks.
I swallow, “No.” It’s the truth, but he has no reason to believe me. My answer is going to keep him mistrustful and suspicious of me. As it should. I like that he is not gullible. It’s one of the many things I like about him. But I want him to like me too and this isn’t going to help. And there is nothing I can do about it.
The thought makes me squirm, and that small movement makes my muscles twinge. I ache all over and I’m filthy. Though not as filthy as I should be. He must have attempted to clean me up while I was out for the count. That’s embarrassing.
I bury my face against his divine manly chest as my cheeks feel like they catch fire. Now memories of last night are flowing across my mind, and there is not a thing I can do to stop them. Most of the images are hazy and unfocused, I was really out of it but I certainly know it was fun. Lots and lots and lots of fun. It still blows my mind that sex is so incredible. Best thing ever. Why on earth did I waste so many years being a virgin? But then again, who would I have slept with? One of the clan? I shudder and nearly heave. Jake runs his hand down my back. He can’t know what I’m thinking, at least I hope not. I don’t think werewolves have telepathy? Oh god, now I’m panicking. He is just comforting me because he is nice like that. Which must mean he knows I’m upset.
Fuck, he must think I’m such a baby. I hate this. Why can’t I just be normal around him? How is he ever going to like me if I keep acting like a freak? Nevermind all the murder stuff.
“Can I go to my room now?”
I can’t look at him so I have no idea what he makes of my sudden exclamation. But his arms release me and I feel cold without them.
I scramble out of bed and flee. Halfway down the hallway I realize I’m still naked. Damn it. I don’t know where my clothes are. Thankfully, I reach the sanctuary of my very own room without being seen, and I sigh in relief. It’s fine, half the pack walk around naked all the time, I need to get used to it if I want to be a werewolf. And I do. I really do. I want to be a werewolf.
Chapter twenty-four
Jake
