“Compromise how? He doesn’t want me to go at all, and that’s not a compromise. That’s me giving up something not just important to me, but a career that impacts the rest of you too. I feel great. I get tired a little more easily, and I have to pee a lot, but there’s no reason I can’t go on tour. If and when I see that I can’t do it, we’ll pivot. Right?”
Tyler nods. “Sure. But it’s not me you have to convince.”
“He doesn’t want to listen and it’s not like him. That’s why I’m scared.”
“Give him a little time to think,” Ariel says gently. “This is scary for him too. He loves you. No matter how upset you are right now, don’t lose sight of that. So give him the same grace you want him to give you. Take a little time to breathe.”
“He has a really big game tomorrow night,” I whisper. “I feel so guilty that this is happening now.”
“So maybe call an audible for now. Put everything on hold until the series is over.”
I nod. “Yeah. I guess.”
I hate this, and talking to my friends hasn’t helped.
Nothing is going to help until Zaan and I work this out.
And I’m really scared we’re not going to be able to.
Chapter Fifteen
Zaan
* * *
I wind up at the arena.
A few of the guys had said they were going to have an informal practice just to work off nervous energy, run a few drills. So I join them. Coach Teller is the only coach that’s there and he doesn’t do much except call out different drills. There’s only about eight of us, and neither of our goalies are here, so we spend most of the time skating and stick handling.
It feels good to do something physical because my emotions are all over the place.
“You all right?” Coach asks as we head back toward the showers.
“Not even a little.” I shake my head.
“This have something to do with Lexi’s stage dive last night?”
I grunt in response.
I figured some of the guys would see it.
“Did you argue?”
“Yeah. Kind of. She asked me not to yell at her because she’s been crying a lot, so when the conversation turned into an argument, I left and came here. Instead of yelling. Because I really fucking wanted to.”
He nods. “Yeah, pregnancy hormones are tough. But you can’t run away from this.”
“Tell me about it.”
“You’re going to have to man up, my friend. I’m talking about swallowing your pride, your common sense, and maybe even your manhood. They’re not the same when they’re pregnant. The hormones, body changes, all of the stuff happening to them is pretty much out of their control. Your job is to be there for her and support her in whatever way she needs. And it’s really hard sometimes, especially when they do things you might perceive as dangerous, ridiculous, whatever the case may be. Obviously, I’m not talking about someone with mental health issues or someone who’s a danger to themselves. But in a normal, healthy relationship, with what we’ll refer to for conversation purposes as a normal pregnancy, you have to be wrong and say you’re sorry. All the time.”
I frown. “But what she did last night?—”
“Was a mistake. But still her choice. And I’m willing to bet she’s not going to do that again.”
I sigh.
She did say that she and the band had discussed it, and they were taking stage diving out of the show.
