I nod. “Okay. It’s just that—I… I can’t handle it being all sweet and romantic.”
Warm brown eyes slowly flick across my face. “Okay. It can be likewhen we were kids. Just the two of us exploring and having fun.”
I have no idea how to tell him that it’ll never feel like it did when we were kids again. Because the person I was before Damien no longer exists. It would just break his heart to hear me say that, though, so there’s really no point. “Okay,” I say instead.
Austin tightens his grip on my ass and pulls me off the door before dropping me onto the bed and crawling up my body.
His weight settles on mine, forcing me into the mattress. I tilt my head back, baring my throat to him. He doesn’t take me up on the offer. Instead, he fists my hair, tangling his fingers in the strands, and kisses me.
It’s not as soft as before, not as sensual, but I still like it. I still enjoy his taste and his tongue as he works me into a frenzy all over again.
It doesn’t take much for my cock to swell against him. It’s been so damn long since I’ve enjoyed sex or sexual contact that I’m already leaking.
Austin raises himself enough to slide his hand between us and down my stomach. When he grips my cock over my briefs, I let out a harsh groan. “Fuck.”
“Yeah? Feel good?” he asks quietly, stroking me firmly twice before letting go. My hips buck up, practically begging him to come back and touch me some more.
“It’d feel better if you kept going.”
He chuckles, nuzzling my cheek before making his way to my throat. My back arches as he licks at the hollow of my throat and down my chest, sucking each of my nipples into his mouth before continuing his path down.
His nose dips into my belly button, nuzzling me there and making me giggle at how it tickles. It’s nice. Good, even, but thenmy hands go clammy at how sweet he’s being. “Enough teasing, Austin,” I grit out. “Fuck me already.”
He sighs, letting out a puff of air against my stomach. “Jesus. Impatient.”
Hooking his thumbs into the waistband of my briefs, he tugs them down, and my hard cock springs free.
For a second, we both freeze. I’m not even sure why. It’s not like he hasn’t seen my dick before. It’s almost like he’s giving me a chance to change my mind. I won’t, though. I don’t want to stop. Not even a little.
I let my head fall back against the pillow when Austin settles between my legs. Warm lips skate up the inside of my thighs, and heat washes over me. Yes. This. No thoughts and no feelings aside from the feel of Austin’s mouth as it gets closer and closer to my throbbing dick.
My eyes have fallen shut, but they spring open when Austin opens a drawer, and when the unmistakable sound of lube being uncapped fills my ears, my stomach tightens.
“Condom?” Austin asks, and I shake my head. I don’t want anything between us. Thankfully, my test results after Damien were good. “Okay, that’s fine,” he says softly.
I’m a little apprehensive for some reason, even though a few seconds ago, I wanted this more than anything. I’m opening my mouth to tell Austin to hold on just a second when he taps my thigh.
Muscle memory kicks in, and I roll over without thought, my cock wilting at the position and the fear rising in my chest. My chest falls to the bed on instinct, my hips turning back into the position Damien likes me in.
I’m frozen. I can’t even ask him to stop. Not when he places ahand on my ass and spreads my cheeks to expose my hole. Not when he brushes a dry thumb over it. Not even when a cool, slick finger presses against it.
I’m stuck. I’m stuck here. Stuck doing this thing I don’t want. My heart pounds, and my vision goes blurry.
Stop.
I want to scream the words, but nothing will come out.
I want to stop. I want to stop. I want to stop.
Chapter 24
Austin
I’malreadyrollingLucato his back when his whispering starts. “I want to stop. I want to stop. I want to stop.”
“Hey, baby. We stopped. You’re okay. Look at me.”
“I want to stop. I want to stop.”
