Leaning close enough to him to feel his warm breath on my lips, I whisper, “So touch me more, then.”
“Luca…” My name is a barely there whisper, spoken around choked emotion.
I don’t even wait to see what he’s going to say. I tip my head forward and press my lips to his. His hands come up to cradle my head, holding me in place for his gentle onslaught.
I let the feelings spread, let myself melt into it. Intohim.I don’t flinch in fear once. Not when his hands trail down the sides of my throat. Not when his thumbs dip into the hollow. Not when his fingertips graze my collarbones.
I arch into him instead, blocking everything from my mind but the taste of his lips and the rough pads of his fingers on my skin.
It feels good. Better than anything I’ve felt in a long time. It’s warmth and safety, and not once do I believe he’s doing it to get something out of me.
“So beautiful, Luca,” he murmurs against my lips as his hands trail lower, thumbs brushing over my nipples, fingertips grazing my sides, and his bottom lip catching on mine. “So fucking beautiful. Inside and out.”
My breath catches, my cock fully hardening. My hips move on their own, grinding against him as I seek more. More of his touch. More of his words. More of his body. His head tips back on the couch with a soft moan, his lips parting as he exhales a breath.
Austin’s hands continue their lazy path down my body, stopping at my hips, and then sliding up my back and pulling me closer. He lifts his head to catch my lips again.
I put my hands on his chest, needing to touch him back, needingto feel him. A moan pours from my lips to his as I lose the battle with my restraint and grind against him.
“That’s it, baby. Fuck, you feel good,” he moans before lifting a hand to hold my face and deepen our kiss.
A shiver wracks my body. “Oh,God.”
“You okay, baby?” Austin whispers. “You’re trembling.”
I’m trembling because this is too much. I don’t want it to stop, but I also don’t want it to keep going like this. I can’t. “Take me to bed.”
Austin freezes, using his grip to gently guide my head back until I’m looking at him. “What do you mean?”
“Exactly what I said. I want you to fuck me.” My stomach gives a nervous flip, unhappy with that idea, but I don’t really know if I can do this any other way. If I try to go loving and sweet—even just the thought sends a nauseous wave through me. “This sweet and slow stuff isn’t gonna work for me.”
Austin watches me carefully, eyes roaming my face like he’s searching for answers. The truth is, I’m not sure if I have any for him. I’m not sure if he’ll find any in my expression either.
I’m afraid gentle will derail me. It’ll feel too much like love, and right now, I don’t think I can take that. I don’t think I’ll survive that at all. My fragile psyche won’t at any rate. “If you want to be with me, this is how we have to do it.”
I wait for him to deny me. I wouldn’t even blame him. Just forty-eight hours ago, he didn’t even want tokissme, and if there’s anything I can say about Austin, it’s that he’s got sweet and loving written all over him.
He’d want to hold me and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. Touch me reverently, and… He’d want to make love to me. I can’t handle his love right now. Not when I can’t stop worrying about it turning into Damien’s hate.
“Please, Austin.”
He sighs. “I won’t hurt you, Luca. Don’t ask me to.”
I shake my head. “I’m not asking you to hurt me. I don’t want to be hurt, either. I just don’t want…”
Austin’s thumbs swipe over my cheekbones. “You don’t want to what, baby?”
“I don’t want you to treat me like you love me.”
I wish I knew what he was thinking. Wish I knew what the shuttering of his expression was for. Why his pretty eyes went dim.
I don’t get an answer, nor do I get the chance to ask. No sooner do I open my mouth to speak than he drops his hands from my face and pushes to his feet, cupping my ass in his hands and lifting me effortlessly with him.
He carries me straight into the bedroom, shutting the door behind us, and then I’m being pressed against it, the cool wood sending a shock through my overheated body. Austin’s mouth comes down on mine. Hot and quick and desperate. Seeking. His tongue pushes past my lips, then retreats before he sucks my bottom lip into his mouth and bites down on the flesh.
I gasp, my cock jerking between us. He breaks away, and my head thunks against the door behind me. His breathing is ragged when he leans in close to my ear and whispers, “I won’t fuck you like I love you.” Relief washes over me. “But… I also can’t fuck you like I hate you, either. How about I fuck you like I like you instead?”
I think he’s joking for a second until I lift my head to find him staring at me with a serious expression.
