He’s making my head spin, my thoughts spiraling out of control, flashes of me bare in front of him and his hands exploring and relearning my skin crossing my mind.
What does he mean by that? I have the distinct feeling that his hands on me could chase away all the fear, but surelythat’snot what he means.
He sits up abruptly, untangling me from his arms faster than I thought possible. His warm brown eyes settle on mine. “We’ll do more training. You were having a lot of fun before. Do you think itwould scare you if I touched you?”
I shake my head. “No.”
His palm settles on my chest, his eyes searching mine as he brings it up to rest against my throat. Like yesterday, my breath gets caught, my vision dimming. “Hey, breathe. There’s no pressure. You can breathe. It’s just me.”
His thumb brushes my pulse point. “Breathe.”
I focus on his eyes, then breathe in deeply. He’s right. There’s no pressure on my throat. In fact, he’s barely touching me at all.
He moves his hand quickly. “I think you can do it, Luca, but I think you need to do it with me. I’m sorry I let Jasper trigger you.”
I gape at him because that’s not even close to his fault, and I don’t understand why he would think it is. “That’s not your fault. I didn’t know it would trigger me either.”
“I should have been keeping a closer eye on things. I should have known you’d feel safer with me.” Austin’s eyes dart across my face, settling on my lips before flying up to my eyes. “What do you want to do today?”
Touch you all day. Lay in your lap on the couch. Build a fire and stay cooped up the entire day. Feel your hands on me again.
“Whatever you want.”
Austin cocks his head. “What doyouwant? Today is Give Luca Pierce Anything His Heart Desires Day.”
The heart in question lurches. “I want to cuddle with you.”
That seems to surprise him. His eyebrows shoot up, his head tilting to the other side like a confused puppy. “Really?”
“You said anything,” I point out. God, if I ask for what I want and get shot down, I don’t know what I’m gonna do.
“I did.” He moves toward the edge of the bed. “Come on then. Let’s do the morning bathroom stuff and then grab something forbreakfast and come back to bed.”
My heart soars. “Toast and syrup?”
Austin’s warm laughter makes me smile. “I did say anything.”
By the time we’ve eaten breakfast, my eyes are getting heavy again. I don’t know why, given how much I slept last night, but I can’t deny it—I’m exhausted. “I’m tired,” I murmur into Austin’s chest.
We’ve been lying this way for at least twenty minutes, my head on his chest, his fingers dancing absently up and down my back. “Then sleep.”
I don’t even try to fight it. My eyes fall closed, and I drift off to Austin’s touch and his warm presence surrounding me.
“DoyouwanttowatchMasterChef?” Austin asks, coming back from the kitchen with two cups of coffee.
After I woke up from my nap, we decided on caffeine and couch cuddles. “That’s fine.”
I really don’t care what we watch either way.
Austin hands me my mug, then sits down next to me, turning on the show. I drink the coffee slowly, savoring the warmth. It’s been a cold morning. I thought about building a fire earlier, but now that we’re here, I’d rather have Austin’s body heat as warmth.
It’s been so freaking long since I’ve had that. Since I’ve been able to just… cuddle with someone and feel safe doing it.
Damien was never a tactile person, not even in the beginning.And then after a while, even the small touches he did afford me were no good. He either wanted to fuck me or he wanted to hurt me. And sometimes… sometimes he wanted to hurt me while he was fucking me.
I got used to harsh touches and nothing else. I haven’t been touched by a well-meaning, gentle hand in a long time.
Not since my parents’ funeral.
