It doesn’t take long for me to strip down and climb in after him. He plasters himself to me, his chest against mine, his legs tangled with my own.
Gray eyes settle on mine. “Was it weird? Sorry.”
Does he think taking care of him is weird for me? It’s not. It never could be. “No.” I let myself cup his face, even though I shouldn’t. He closes his eyes, leaning into the touch, so I move my thumb back and forth over his cheekbone. “It’s me and you, Luc. Nothing about us could ever be weird.”
He nods, eyes falling shut.
“Sleep, Luc. I’ll keep you safe. Always. I promise.”
He nods again, exhaling slowly. I watch him until the lines in his face relax, his brows smoothing out and his lips parting as he dozes off. Leaning forward, I press my lips softly to his forehead, leaving them there for a second before pulling back, then I slide my hand back to cup his nape, holding him close and closing my eyes.
It’s no time at all before I’m falling asleep with him.
Chapter 19
Luca
I’mnotsurewhat’swrong with me. The mix of fear and panic that simmered under my skin when Jasper’s hands closed around my throat is long gone, but something still feels off. In hindsight, I should have known it was coming. Should have prepared myself. Should have seen it. But I didn’t.
It doesn’t even matter. I know Jasper wouldn’t choke me. Iaskedhim to show me, for fuck’s sake. The move looked straightforward, and he was barely even touching me. But when his hands closed around my throat and his blue eyes locked onto mine, everything else disappeared. I didn’t see his white-gray hair; I didn’t see his slightly crooked nose or the stubble on his cheek. I saw a clean-shaven, strong jaw, black hair with salt weaving through, andblue eyes filled, not with the expectation that I was about to knock his arms away, but with hatred and anger.
Jasper was gone, and Damien had taken his place.
I panicked. Clearly. I shut down. I couldn’t get him off, and I couldn’t breathe. And then there was Austin. Holding me. Picking me up. Carrying me outside. Wrapped around me in the back seat of his truck, his fingers stroking my hair and his soft and steady voice rumbling in my ear about fair parades and being lost without me.
I don’t remember much of yesterday, but I remember being cocooned in safety, supported in strong arms, undressed with sure fingers, and sleeping in peace.
I remember Austin pulling me back from the edge of the abyss and wrapping me up, protecting me, and bringing me back to myself.
And now? Now I feel weak and shaky. I don’t want him out of my sight. I don’t want him out of my reach. I want to live in his lap today. I want those arms of his around me at all times. I don’t want him to let me go.
Now, I’m lying in bed, snuggled against his broad, warm chest, breathing in the scent of his skin and listening to the steady beating of his heart. His breath is fanning across the top of my head, ruffling my hair with each exhalation.
I think he held me all night.
I’m not ready for it to end. He has dinner at his parents’ today, just like every Sunday, and until then, I’m gonna take all I can get of…this.
He grumbles a bit under his breath, his arm tightening around my back before he loosens his grip. Panic chokes me, my heart thumping hard. “Don’t let go,” I rasp out, throat nearly closing up.
“I won’t.” His voice is as sure and solid as I’ve ever heard it,settling under my skin and into my bones, soothing me from the inside out.
He rolls to his side, pulling me in tighter until I’m so close to him I can barely breathe—his grip so strong my lungs can barely inflate. I don’t give a shit. It’s worth it. Especially because my lack of air isn’t from pain or heartache or someone trying to take my life from me, but from someone—Austin—holding me together, gathering all my pieces, and keeping them safe in his arms.
Tears burn my eyes, so I squeeze them closed, fighting them hard.
“I’m so fucking proud of you, Luc,” he murmurs, then his face is tipping down, pressing into my hair, nose rubbing against me.
“What?”
“You did so well yesterday. You were so brave.”
His hand slides up my back, warm and calloused, before slipping into my hair. I shiver. I can’t fucking help it. “I wasn’t.”
“You were,” he whispers. “You wanted to learn something new, and you did so well.”
I let out a shaky laugh. “No, I didn’t. I panicked. I shut down.”
Austin’s answer is a low grumble in his throat. “And you’re gonna try again, right? Only this time, Jasper won’t touch you. Only me.”
