My carefully constructed walls are starting to crumble as sparks fly between the two of us—or, at least, it feels like sparks are flying. I have to be imagining things. My mind is conjuring up my old hopes and dreams that never saw the light of day.
Even though I assume it’s all in my convoluted head…Things aren’t adding up. If it’s truly all in my head, why wouldn’t he just wave? Why make the effort to come all the way over? Maybe he wanted to see me…
My god! Just stop overanalyzing everything.
His fiancée is literally feet away. He’s clearly just trying to be friendly.
The salty breeze picks up, sending my hair flying across my face. Before I can wipe it away, Jude reaches up and tucks it behind my ear. His fingers linger on my ear for a few seconds, and my eyes close slightly until I feel the loss of his touch. I wanted to lean into his touch. An awkward silence ensues as we search each other’s eyes.
What was that?
It reminded me of what he used to do—he’d sweep hair off my face, hold both sides of my face, and lean down to place the gentlest kiss…oh, how I want him to kiss me like he used to. He made me feel like I was the best thing that ever happened to him.
Except he’s not mine anymore.
My heart almost stops, and I swallow hard. Breaking the silence, I say, “I’ve gotta get to um…concierge…and you should get back to your friends.”
A guy with blond hair and toned abs jogs over to Jude and slings his arm around his neck. “You’re up, man.” He turns to me and says, “Since this guy isn’t going to introduce us, I’m Max, his best friend.”
I shake his outstretched hand and say, “Nice to meet you, Max. I’ll let you guys get back to it.”
“Oh, yeah, ok. It was really nice talking with you. Hopefully, we will see you again,” Jude mutters.
“Uh, yeah…you too.”
What else was I supposed to say?
Please stop seeking me out and talking to me.
As I turn and walk away, I roll my eyes and shake my head at myself. Holes are being poked into the avoidance plan.
The resort entrance is a few steps away. The stairs lead me up to the pool area where there’s a free seat. Making my way over, I throw myself in the seat and lie back. My mindis racing and searching for answers to what just happened. I have real feelings for him. I already knew this, but his presence changes everything. It’s a whole new challenge for me, especially knowing he’s getting married.
One moment at a time. One day at a time. I got this!
The need to sort through my feelings tugs at me, hard. My plan will get me through. I’ll go to the concierge, confirm dinner reservations, and head to my room. I can hold it together until then, and then I’ll take some time to think and process. Second-guessing my own progress when it comes to Jude, I realize I’m not exactly surprised; when you come face to face with the person who tore your heart into pieces and left you, of course things are going to be hard.
Can I skip the pain of all of this? Maybe I could run to the airport and completely avoid him. Ha! No, that’s not a good plan.
I’m not letting the presence of him ruin my time. I stand from the chair, throw down my flip flops, and slide them on. My flip-flops slap against the floor as I walk through the resort until I reach the lobby and see Remi at the concierge desk. He’s always so friendly.
“Good afternoon, Remi.”
His eyes brighten as I approach the front desk, “Good afternoon to you, Ms. Faith.”
“Can you help me make reservations for dinner tonight at the hibachi place?”
“I’d be happy to. How many?”
“Four people at six o’clock tonight would be perfect. Is that time available?
He moves closer to his computer and clicks his mouse a couple times, scans the screen, “Yes, we can do that. Getting your reservation confirmed; just give me a minute to put in all the information.”
“Thank you.” I smile politely, grateful it was quick and painless.
“You are all set. They will see you at six. Enjoy your dinner and the rest of your day.”
“You too!”
