And with that, I sit up; the water is calling my name. I put my book down and walk to the water. My muscles relax as I step into the ocean. I could stay here all day. I sigh and sink further in. I admire the sand underneath my feet, the saltiness on my tongue, and the feeling of the salt on my skin. Heavenly. I float and swim around a bit, dunking my head under and coming back up. Wringing out my hair, I raise my face to the sun and feel the droplets of water on my skin evaporate.
As I look toward our group of chairs, I notice our waiter approaching with a cooler. That’s my signal to head back up there. The sun is blazing today, and I could definitely use a couple bottles of water to keep myself hydrated. Oh, and I need to reapply my sunscreen.
Once I’m back at my chair, I pull out my lip moisturizer and glide it on my lips. Ah, that feels better. I ask for a bottle of water. He hands me the ice-cold water that’s glistening with condensation. I eagerly drink the entire bottle, realizing just how thirsty I am and reminding myself of the importance of staying hydrated throughout the day.
Ironically, the book I’m reading is set at a resort. How fitting for my own situation, only my life is not a romance. I open my book to the last page I dogeared and start to read. For the next hour, I distract myself with a good story. Then, I pull out my phone and look at the time—it’s almost time for lunch. We already ordered off the menu; we just have to wait for it to be delivered to us.
"Now I'm ready for my chicken Caesar salad with garlic bread," Kendall says, looking over at me and smacking her lips together.
"Yes, I am too," I agree, my mouth watering at the thought. "I ended up ordering a salmon salad." The mere mention of it brings the flavors vividly to mind, a perfect blend of fresh greens and tender fish.
As if on cue, the waiter strolls over with a tray full of our meals. There are these cute, small tables by each of our chairs. He sets our lunches down on them, along with our frozen drinks we ordered. I imagine myself as a princess being served, awaiting the hot guys to come over with the big fans.
“This is the best.” My thoughts are no longer racing. Instead, I'm fully present, enjoying the sun beating down on me and the downtime on the beach, exactly where I want to be, surrounded by friends. I enjoy the moment with my eyes closed.
And then I remember.
SEVEN
FAITH
“Oh, we still need to get reservations for dinner tonight. I’ll walk over and do that,” I say as I swing my legs off the lounge chair and grab my flip-flops. The sand is warm under my feet, and I wiggle my toes beneath it.
“Girl, that would be great. Let’s do the hibachi place at six,” Kendall says as she pulls at her long, red hair and twists it over her shoulder.
“Ok I’ll take care of it.” I decide to take the route along the water that will bring me to the beach entrance. It feels better than trekking up and through the resort. I stroll toward the shoreline where the packed sand feels firm beneath my feet. Each time a wave rolls in, the sand softens, and my feet begin to sink a bit with every step. The light spray of the water cools my legs, and I pause to take in the breathtaking view of the horizon with the shimmering water, vast blue sky, and bright sun overhead. Off to the left, an airplane glides downward, its path leading to the nearby airport.
The beach and the ocean—complete with boats gliding along the water—make the perfect backdrop to take a selfie for Kai. I snap a few and pick the best one to send to him.
Faith:
Proof I’m here and it’s gorgeous.
I send the photo and then slip my phone back in the bag as I walk leisurely toward the resort. Laughing and splashing echoes in the warm air around me, and I catch a glimpse of the excited group of people in my peripheral vision.
A loud bellow fills the air as a man rushes toward the ocean, feet kicking up sand in his wake as his friends cheer him on. The man is clearly the life of the party. As I get closer, I realize he’s also my ex. I take in his chiseled-to-perfection body just as he collides with the water, and it splashes everyone nearby. Shouting and hollering erupts from the group again. They are really enjoying themselves.
Just as I start to look away from staring at him, he stands up, and we make eye contact. We stare at each other, still as statues, taking each other in. Without breaking from my gaze, he wades through the water until he reaches the sand and struts toward me.
Is he seriously coming over here?
It seems impossible, yet here he is, closing the distance. My heart skips a beat as I watch him get closer with every step. Maybe I'm just imagining this magnetic pull between us, but I can't shake the feeling that it's real. It's a ridiculous thought, but one I can't entirely dismiss.
I find myself frozen in place as he approaches, and my heart flutters with both excitement and fear. He's coming closer, and I can't decide whether to stand my ground or retreat. As he nears, I instinctively take a small step back, uncertain if the heat flooding my body is from his presence or the blazing sun above.
“Hey!” he says casually, like we’ve been friends for years. His posture is relaxed. His voice rattles through me, and there’s no doubt in my mind, it’s him.
“Hi.” What else am I supposed to say? Should I start a whole conversation right here on the beach while his wedding party is in the water? I stand there and look around, distracting myself and hoping this will be quick.
“Are you enjoying the beach? The water is gorgeous, you should go in.”
I take my scrunchie out of my messy bun, run my fingers through my hair, and then put it back up. “I did a little while ago; it was glorious. My friends and I spent the day on the beach with lunch service. I’m heading to make reservations for dinner.” I look over at his group of friends. “I don’t want to keep you.”
"Oh, not a problem. I spotted you and couldn't resist coming over to say hello," he says as his eyes sweep over me and a warm, genuine smile spreads across his face.
My fight-or-flight instinct is screaming at me to run. His presence is overwhelming. It’s such a captivating aura, and I'm caught between wanting to escape and being drawn into him like a firefly to light. His gaze creates a wildfire in my body, making my face flush, and it’s almost unbearable.
Oh boy! Get a handle on yourself.
