“Watch your tone,” Keaton barks.
Charlie reaches out and brushes her fingers down his face.
It’s mesmerizing, watching him melt under her touch, his whole body drawn to her like a tide pulled by the moon.
“You’re right. I apologize, Charlie.”
“I don’t pity you, Alek. I know what it’s like to have that kind of fear running inside of you. What else happened?”
Closing my eyes, I pinch the bridge of my nose. I let the pain of that center me before opening my eyes and admitting to my best friend, “We kissed.”
Her brows draw together. “You and Hayvin.” When I don’t answer her, her eyes go wide, filling with anger and disappointment. “Tell me you didn’t fucking go there, Alek. Tell me you weren’t that stupid. After you saw the hell I went through, tell me you didn’t put someone else there.”
Damn. Her disappointment lands like a punch to the gut.
I try to speak, but the words tangle and die, leaving me helpless as I watch tears gather in her eyes.
“How could you do that, Alek? The man I knew wouldn’t have done something like that, and I think that’s the biggest disappointment of all.”
“What?” I whisper.
“Knowing that you were fallible.”
“That’s not fair, Charlie. We’re all fallible. You, more than anyone, know that. You were the one who told me that exact thing.”
Keaton’s staring at me with eyes that see far too much.
“How did it happen?” he asks quietly.
“I went down to help David with moving her. She had just recently found out that Reggie had been cheating on her, so she was hurting. When he showed up, she wanted to hurt him, so she turned around and kissed me, hoping it would upset him.”
“What did you do?” Keaton asks.
I shrug. “Nothing. I fucking froze. I didn’t want that shit, and there was no way in hell I was kissing her back. I couldn’t even fucking think straight enough to push her the hell away, you know. It's like my brain malfunctioned. She pulled away quickly, though, and begged me quietly to play along. It was stupid of me, but I did. I told myself I was just helping a friend out because that’s all I was doing in my head.” I peer over at Charlie. “Say something. Please.”
“First, I want to say that what she did is not and never will be okay. She took advantage of your friendship and the fact that you are always there for her.”
“Because she’s my friend. I’ve always been there for my friends. You know that, Char.”
Charlie holds up a hand. “I know that, Alek. But you’ve given her an unintentional role in your life that she shouldn’t have had. By using her as a buffer in your relationship with Hayvin, you continually placed her above Hayvin. In Jerica and everyone else’s mind, you gave her priority above the one you claim to love. You left so many openings for her to walk through, and she eventually did. I will never blame you for the kiss, Alek. You didn't want it, you didn't return the kiss, and if you hadn't been frozen in shock, I have no doubt you would have pushed her away. Because I’m probably one of the few who know your true feelings for that woman, and that’s because I know you. What I will say you were wrong for was playing along after the kiss. Youcould, and should, have walked away. You should have told her it wasn’t right. That you didn’t want it.”
“I did,” I stress. “Right after it happened.”
“After it happened, Alek. It should have been before it happened.”
“I don’t know if it matters, but we were split up then,” I mutter.
She throws a fork at me, and I barely dodge it. “It doesn’t fucking matter, you fucking wank cloth. If you and Hayvin hadn't been split up, Alek, then you would have cheated on her. Not the kiss, but everything that came before and after. Hell, most people would consider what you were doing with Jerica before all of this went down as emotional betrayal, anyway.”
Damn, I’d trade anything for a shot of whiskey right now.
“I never spoke to Jerica about my relationship with Hayvin. It was never like that with us. When I say she was my friend, that’s really all she was to me, guys. I may have fucked up and used her to put distance between me and Vin, but I’d never have betrayed Vin by speaking out about our relationship to her. David, yeah, but never Jerica. I didn’t find it respectful to my woman.”
I flag down a server and order something, anything. I’m not hungry, just desperate for something to do with my hands besides twisting them into knots.
“What was Jerica giving you that your woman wasn’t? What did she bring to you that had you constantly choosing her over Hayvin?” Keaton asks quietly.
“It wasn’t like that, man. She honestly didn’t give me anything.”
