How can she believe she doesn't matter to me? She's the only one who ever has.
Liar, a taunting voice that sounds just like Rianna's, whispers in my head.
"Don't say that. You matter. You're the only one that matters."
Amelia laughs, and for the first time since they walked in, I notice someone other than Charlie. My shame doubles knowing that our best friend had to witness my weakness, too.
"Dude. The fact that you're standing in front of her with your dick still hanging out from fucking that skank ass over there, I'd say you're full of shit."
My cheeks burn as I scramble to pull my jeans up. Self-recrimination and anger fill up inside me, and I take it out on her, even though no one deserves it but me.
"Not your business."
"Oh, but it is," Charlie snaps. "She's my best friend." She tilts her head, studying me. "Funny enough, I'm not going to fuck her, though."
"You definitely should, Char. I'd have you forgetting this douchebag's name in a heartbeat. I'll eat that pussy so good, baby," Amelia croons, poking her tongue out to lick her lips, which causes Charlie to laugh.
Tears pour down my face, and I don't have the energy to wipe them away or care to. Charlie deserves to see my remorse. She deserves to know that what just happened was the worst choice I've ever made in my entire fucking life.
I can see Rianna moving from the corner of my eye, but she's the last damn person I care about.
Too bad I didn't realize it until it was too late.
Hatred for Rianna and myself takes up residence inside me.
Charlie glances over at her. "He's all yours. I don't want him anymore."
I shake my head vigorously as my mouth goes dry, like it'll erase the words Charlie just told her. "No, I'm not. I'm not hers, Charlie. I'm yours. Have been since we were five."
"I hate you."
Her whispered words drop me to my knees as my body empties of everything I've ever felt. Silent sobs shake my body as I stare at this beautiful girl I've broken beyond repair. She's doing her best to stand so strong, but through my tears, I spot the battle she's fighting.
Fucking Rianna comes over and runs her fingers through my hair, and even though I can see it killing Charlie more, I can't find the energy to shove her the fuck away from me.
Her touch has acid eating away at my stomach, and for a few seconds, dark thoughts cross my mind.
I drop my chin to my chest and stare blankly at the floor and the way the droplets of my tears hit it. When did I become this person? How did I get here?
"The least you could do is look at me, coward."
My eyes jerk to hers, and it takes me a second to realize that Rianna is no longer touching me.
Thank god.
When Charlie starts her next words, I wish for the blank numbness from earlier.
"Just in case it wasn't already clear, we're over. Eight years together and sixteen years of friendship...gone. I warned you about her, Keaton, even when I still didn't trust her shitty sob story. It didn't matter to you. I didn't matter. I was so deeply in love with you. It's funny how quickly that leaves."
Pain shreds my heart, and it hurts so badly that I wish she'd rip it out of me so I don't have to feel this anymore.
That's so fucking selfish, though.
"No," I whisper, refuting her words.
As sad and broken as her smile is, I bottle it up inside and stick it in my memory box because I don't know when or if I'll ever get to see one on her again.
"Yes. My heart is empty right now. I hope it was worth it. You didn't just destroy our relationship." She smacks her palm against her chest so hard that it gives off a small echo in the room. "Me, Keaton. You fucking annihilated me. But you don't get to see that. I'll leave, erase you from my life, heal, and move forward. You, though," she pauses and reaches out to cup my cheek.
