I'm unable to stop myself from leaning into her touch, even though I'm no longer worthy of it.
"You get to live knowing you broke us. For her. For someone you called a platonic friend. I hope it eats at you every day, wondering where I am, what I'm doing." She grips my chin between her fingers tightly and leans closer to whisper, "Who I'm doing," before releasing me and wiping her hand against her leg like touching my skin disgusts her. I'll never blame her for that because I can't even stand to be in my skin right now.
"Stay with her, Keaton. She obviously means more to you. I'm going to pack my things. At least respect me that much. Give me time, then do whatever you want."
Not only did I break the love of my life tonight, but I also broke myself. I don't feel human. I feel like I'm just an empty, useless sack of skin who doesn't even deserve to be in anyone's presence.
"You might want to get an STD test done, Carr. At David's party two weeks ago, she had a train run on her by six other dudes, and a few of them went unprotected. I overheard JacobWilliams bitching to one of the other dudes about getting tested because there was a yellow discharge coming from his dick, and his nuts were swollen. Just in case you didn't pay attention in health class, those are all symptoms of Chlamydia."
Charlie throws one last bomb at me, and my head jerks toward Rianna in horror. The way her face flushes gives away her duplicity, and I just shut my eyes and hang my head.
My future is bleak, and it's because of my actions.
I can't even find it in me to fucking care.
A husk of a guy living a lonely life without his heart and a goddamn STD.
It's what someone like me deserves.
Black Trench Coats...
Charlie | The Past
"AreyouNetflixandchilling tonight?" Amelia asks when I tell her about Alek inviting me over again.
I shoot her an exasperated look.
"Hulu and do you? Disney Plus and thrust? HBO and get down low?" When I don't answer her, she groans and falls back on the bed dramatically. "Oh, come on, Char. Is tonight the night you're finally letting Alek pet the monkey?"
"Alek has been petting the monkey already, Mel," I reply with an eye roll as I toss some clothes into the bag.
"Fine. Are you finally letting the dude inside the penis purse?"
My hand freezes in the air, a lacy red thong dangling from it. "Penis purse?" I repeat, horrified.
"Spitball Bullseye?"
"No. Just no."
"The Notorious V.A.G.? The Sperm Shack? The Hairy Potter?"
I throw a bra and it smacks her in the face. "Dear god, please stop."
She tosses the bra in my bag and smiles. "Tunnel of Love? DNA Dumpster? The Bone Hider?"
My lips twitch as I fight my laughter.
Honestly, her absurd, foul-mouthed attempts to calm me down are exactly why I adore her.
Alek and I have been tangled up since date one. The man’s talents with his fingers and mouth should come with a siren and a set of handcuffs. Possibly illegal.
I thought I would struggle more with those moments of intimacy, but surprisingly, they didn't really bother me that much. Sure, there were fleeting intrusive thoughts, but it was simple enough to shove them out.
There's enough difference between Keaton and Alek that it was easy to separate them in my mind.
With Alek, it's all chemistry, fire, playfulness, and excitement. With Keaton, it was always love, desire, silliness, and spontaneity. Keaton knew my body and what I liked, and he loved giving it to me. He was never a selfish lover. He always made sure I received mine before he did, sometimes more than once. But the downside of knowing someone's body so well is that you know exactly what to do to bring them to release, which means less time spent trying to achieve it.
It wasn't until the first time Alek buried his face between my thighs that I realized that, though.
