RED
3 months later
With a mug of cowboy brew coffee in my hand, I lean against a post on the ranch house porch deep in thought. Not for the first time, I wonder if the ache in my bones after a hard day’s work is a sign that I’m getting old.
Just thinking that makes me laugh because if my wife Anna was still alive, she’d be glaring at me and asking what the hell crawled up my jeans. She was so good at being the voice of reason whenever I needed it.
I know it’s not the reminders of my day that’s distracting me though. It’s something else that’s been bugging me for a few months now. A deep gnawing feeling that change is coming. Like a shift in the universe.
At first, I put it down to me being happy with the status quo here on the ranch and the ever-expanding found family we’ve created here. The more time that passes though, the stronger the feeling gets, so much so that I’m standing here looking over my land andstillthinking about it.
Whatever it is–whatever’s coming–I don’t like it. Because out of everyone living here under the shadow of Bull Mountain, I’ve had enough change in my life to last this oneandthe next.
Taking a slow sip of my steaming hot drink, I let the bitterness wash over my tongue as I try to calm my mind. For all I know, it’s the change of season and thoughts of all the work that needs to be done before Winter takes hold.
Looking over the land, the low sun casting pretty shadows across the ranch, the sky a mix of pink and orange, I realize that I have everything I want bar one–Anna. Every day for almost eight years, I’ve held her close to my heart. I see her every day in our son Wyatt and every moment I spend tending to the ranch and giving back to the land is to honor her memory and the man she helped me become.
I’m still staring out at the horizon when I hear the storm door creak open behind me.
“Hey Dad,” Wyatt says, announcing his arrival.
Turning to face him, I smile at the almost-man who stands in front of me. Who am I kidding? He's six foot four and is pushing two fifty. He’s all brawn and muscle, a perfect mix of Anna’s forest green eyes and my thick, formerly dark brown hair.There’s a lot more salt than pepper on my head these days.
Wyatt is the one thing in this world I’m most proud of. More than my decades on the rodeo tour and the ranch and bull stud we’ve rebuilt and established here next to the mountain.
“Hey, kid. Are you all done for the day?”
“Sure am. We got all the tree saplin’s planted on that section we’re up to on the Western slope, then we went to the swimmin’ hole for a dip afterward.”
My lips tip up. “That’s why you came in the back door then. It all makes sense now.”
“Yeah. I saw you out here when I was comin’ in and didn’t want to disturb your meditation,” he shoots back with a smirk.
“The only meditatin' I do is at the Secret Cow when I'm examinin’ the bottom of my beer bottle, kid.”
“Yeah…” I catch something in his gaze that gets my senses tingling. “Somethin’ else on your mind, Wy?”
He sighs before lifting his head and meeting my eyes. “Got a call earlier. From that guy with a boat in Dutch Habor, the captain I’d been emailin’. I got the greenhorn position.”
His words hang heavy between us, and I don't miss the way his shoulders square with a mix of determination and worry. Wyatt has always been a good kid, so I’m not worried that he’s not ready. I think I’m more concerned about whetherIam.
Although we all knew this was coming, how I react to his news will be a pivotal parenting moment. Because of that, I don’t hesitate. “That’s great news. Congratulations, kid.” I clap a hand on his shoulder. “I know how much you wanted this.”
A rare smile breaks out on his face and the relief in his eyes is obvious. I see echoes of Anna in that smile, her unwavering support and love shining through our son.God, I miss her.
“I’m ready, Dad,” Wyatt replies, his voice steady and strong. “I love the ranch, I loveyouand all the guys and their families—but this is somethin’ I think I need to do. For now, anyway. Iwillcome back.”
I nod in agreement, knowing exactly why he wants and needs to do this. Move away. Forge his own path. Become the man he was meant to be. It just sucks that it has to be so damn far away from home…andin the middle of the damn ocean.
One thing I don’t doubt is that he’ll succeed. He’s got a good head on his shoulders and a strong work ethic. He’s got common sense, manners, and a heart as big as the sky.
And I’m going to miss him like a lost limb.
I throw back the last of my drink with a mix of pride and melancholy swirling in my chest. Seeing him off and saying goodbye is going to be one of the hardest things I’ll ever have to do. Then again, what Icando is make the most of the time I have with him before he goes.
Wyatt shuffles his feet, a mix of excitement and nerves dancing in his eyes. “They want me there in two weeks. Do you…?” The uncertainty in his voice gets my full attention.
“Do I what? Think you should do it? Absolutely. Am I goin’ to miss you? More than you know.” He nods, puffing up his chest. I reach out and grip his shoulder. “Wy, I’m damn proud of you. You told me that this was your plan and you’ve done everythin’ you had to do in order to make it happen. That’s not to say I wouldn’t be proud of you if you were a bar back at the Cow or muckin’ out stalls at the rodeo. I want you to be happy doin’ whatever it is thatyouwant to do.This,” I flex my fingers, “this feelin’ you’ve got, it’s because you want it so much. Trust in that, yeah?”
