I decided against lying and gave him an awkward nod. “Yeah. I do. I find it comforting somehow.”
Nix wrapped my hand in his, holding them both against my leg. “Well, we can stay as long as you want.”
Squeezing his fingers, I replied, “No, it’s fine. I just wanted you to see where I used to live. It seemed wrong not to show you when the roadworks took us this way. We talked about it so much when we were kids. They’re going to rip it down soon, that’s what all those notices on the fencing say.” I took a gasp of breath. “And then there will be nothing left.”
My screams and that tightness in my throat whilst being suffocated by the smoke camecrashingback: the idea of my mother’s body burning.
The cruel memories of that night splintered as Phoenix spoke. “Shit, Harper, come here.” I turned abruptly away from that painful view. We both moved at the same time, as Nix undid my belt and tugged me onto his lap, holding me close.
I sank against him, taking in his scent and feeling so very safe. As I drew back and looked into his eyes, his hands slid around my face, and he kissed me.
The way our mouths fused was like the fit of a jigsaw puzzle. Perfect. It was such a loving kiss, one with feeling, and I came alive as his tongue swept over mine. I was only half aware of someone walking past the Jeep as Nix drew back with a grin. I glanced at the old lady with a huge smile on her face as she passed, causing me to lean away and put space between our bodies. It was so cramped with the steering wheel pressing into my back, and my movement made the horn sound.
A blush crept up my neck and into my face, and then we both burst out laughing. I slid off his lap and back over into my seat, straightening my top, which had become skewed. My breasts felt heavy beneath that layer of cotton. I had felt how aroused Phoenix had become against my backside as I had semi-straddled him. Pulling on my belt, I slyly watched Nix fiddle with his and then adjust himself in his jeans. Fuck, the guy’s sexual allure was off the charts. His calling me his girlfriend flashed into my head again. Would I ever be that?
We both then looked up at my old house, the tomb where my parents died, and shared a silence. Phoenix then started the car, and off we went.
By the time we got back to the house, it was dark outside.
After Phoenix pulled the jeep up the driveway behind Hudson’s beat-up Ranger, he turned the ignition off. The lights were on in the house, casting an orange glow into the front of the car.
Nix made no move to leave the vehicle. He just sat there with his hands fisted on the steering wheel, staring through the front windshield. I lifted my bag from the footwell and turned to face him.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked softly, placing my hand on one of his outstretched arms. My touch seemed to knock him out of his trance as he glanced down at my fingers. “Nix?”
I watched his Adam’s apple as he took a large swallow and twisted his shoulders to look at me.
“She wouldn’t tell me who my father was,” he explained, his voice deep and gravely.
Dropping my hand, I pursed my lips. That meant his mother knew the identity of his dad. I remembered Nix saying there were no details on his birth certificate or anything else in his agency file.
“So, she knows, but she won’t say?”
His eyes locked onto mine with a harrowing expression. “She knows.”
“Do you think it’s someone local?”
Nix shrugged, “I don’t know, but I get the feeling she’s afraid of him. Or was.”
That left a bad taste in my mouth. Did that mean Phoenix’s dad was like Hudson’s had been? A scumbag who liked to use his fists on women and kids.
We were now both facing each other. “Do you think he was abusive towards her and maybe you?” My mind was racing with all the possibilities. “You told me her excuse as to why she left you in care was lame? If she did it to protect you from an abusive relationship, surely that wouldn’t be lame.”
Nix’s nostrils flared as he glanced away and looked up at the house. “He didn’t hit her, or at least that’s what she said.”
“So why did she leave you?”
“She said she thought I was better off without her. When she came back for me, I had already been placed with a family. A good one. If she left me to keep me safe from a bad father, surely, she would have played that card?”
He seemed to struggle with every word, his face taut. So much had happened in such a short space of time, and he clearly needed a breather.
“I don’t know Nix.” And that was the truth. Part of me wanted Phoenix to reach out to his mother so he could come to some understanding with her. At least she was alive. I doubted that one thirty-minute conversation would be enough. From his tormented expression, I could see that it wasn’t.
“So, what about your dad then?”
My mouth opened, but Phoenix cut me off as he said. “I get the feeling that he’s someone important. Dangerous even.”
Thoughts of the seedier side of Newport bled through my mind like a sliced artery. Although Anton Creed was still in prison, his tentacles still stretched throughout the city. Maybe Nix’s father was also a criminal.
