River bounced away to order a drink, and Audrey took Hallie in her arms, breathing the scent of her hair in. “Thank you for yelling at my mother.”
“You’re welcome,” Hallie whispered. “Someone needed to do it. I wanted to wait until it was you, when you were ready to yell at her yourself, but I wasn’t putting up with that.”
“I’m glad you did it. They’d never listen to me. That’s part of why it feels pointless to even try. Everyone would just brush it off as me being weird and annoying. This way, it came from the outside. They got their worst fear, I suppose. Someone saw the perfect family image and noticed it was bullshit, called them out and didn’t want to be part of it.” She kissed the top of Hallie’s head. “You’re very impressive, you know?”
“Not as impressive as you, Dr. Bee. And they should have been telling you that all along.”
Audrey shrugged. She didn’t know about that, but she was oddly glad of whatever had happened in life that led her to Hallie. It wasn’t being grateful for the things her family put her through, it wasn’t legitimizing that, but she liked being someone Hallie enjoyed.
Keeping her arms wrapped around Audrey, Hallie pulled her head back to look up at her. “Are you ready to be back in the sun?”
“No.”
Hallie’s breath sounded rough as she nodded. They were both trying to be okay with this whole thing, but it wasn’t okay. “Michigan will always be here for you, you know?”
“Yeah?”
“Most definitely. It loves you more than you’ve been led to believe.”
Audrey laughed wetly. She wasn’t sure the state had any real feelings about her, but she liked leaving it knowing there were things she’d miss there, feeling like coming back wouldn’t be the torment it usually was. Perhaps Michigan didn’t have feelings about her, but, for her, it had always been synonymous with her family. Not anymore. It was all Hallie now.
“And, you know,” Hallie said, attempting to temper the hope in her voice, “maybe I’ll get a trip to see some sunshine soon…”
Audrey’s heart ached with wanting. She needed to know what that would be like, what the two of them would be like in a different place, without the terror of her family hanging over them. “I’d like that.”
Hallie laughed. “Well, I work at an inn, I suppose I should be good at finding accommodation.”
Audrey frowned. “Hallie… if you’re coming to California, you don’t need to find a place to stay.”
“No?”
“Of course not. You just let me stay with you all week. You think I’d let you stay somewhere else?”
“Oh, is that all it is? Just repaying the favor?” She said it lightly, like a joke, but this was serious.
“No. That’s not it at all.” She sucked in a breath, trying to calm her heart. “I don’t want this to be it. I know we’re not together properly and it’s complicated and… a million other things, but, Hallie,I don’t want this to be it.”
“I don’t either,” she whispered, like she, too, didn’t know exactly what they were agreeing to, what they were trying to be. They just knew that there was something between them that they weren’t quite ready to give up on.
Audrey nodded. She didn’t yet have words to explain it, to discuss it, to try figuring out exactly what they could be. So, instead, she placed her fingers under Hallie’s chin, revelling in her soft skin and the magnetic look in her eyes, and she leaned in to kiss her, throwing everything she could into the kiss and hoping it wouldn’t be one of their last.
Chapter Twenty-Four
“You look like shit,” Pierre said as Hallie took up her spot behind the front desk on Friday morning. It had been the same story all week.
“Thank you,” she said stoically. When customers approached, she’d put on her customer service face and pretend she wanted nothing more in the world than to cater to their every whim. When it was just the two of them, however, she wasn’t doing very well pretending. Since her time with Audrey’s family, pretending had felt different. That was all they did and she’d seen the damage up close. She didn’t want to play that game.
“I don’t know why you don’t just fly out there,” he grumbled.
“Right?” River practically threw herself at the counter. She’d had a spring in her step the last few days. Apparently, her whole thing with the woman from the gym was going well, and, after a disastrous week with her family, River was finally just going for the personshewanted. It was good, even if Hallie was jealous as fuck.
She glowered at the two of them. “It’s not that easy and you both know it.”
Pierre shot her a skeptical look. “You two talk every single day. It’s not like you’renotdating.”
“We’re not dating and we’re not not dating. It's a mess, but it is what it is.” What they had was better than nothing, but that didn’t stop her missing Audrey. It didn’t stop her wanting Audrey.
River leaned on the counter, surveying her. “You know, Audrey’s not good at making a move. She’s never had the space to ask for what she wants. She won’t want to inconvenience you.”
