“Being with her is not a fuckinginconvenience,” Hallie said, sharper than she intended.
River wasn’t the enemy, and Audrey was good with her. She was finally realizing what the Sinclairs were about, and Audrey didn’t begrudge her the complicated feelings, the time to figure out how she wanted to navigate her relationship with them. That meant Hallie shouldn’t be annoyed about it either. And, most of the time, she wasn’t, but when River said things like that, implied things the Sinclairs would, Hallie saw red. Just a little. It wasn’t even what River meant. Hallie was just sad.
River shot her a sympathetic look. She seemed like she’d aged a decade in the last two weeks. Perhaps that was what happened when you finally broke out of your allocated role in your shit family. “I know that. Audrey is the one who doesn’t. Her whole life has been our family telling her she’s an inconvenience, that who she is is inherently wrong. Thus, she’s not going to ask you to do anything that she perceives will harm the life you’ve built for yourself.”
Hallie barely suppressed a groan. She knew all of that. She knew Audrey. And she loved knowing her. But what did you do when you had two weeks of knowing someone, over twothousand miles between you, and no easy way to rectify that? She wanted out of the gray area. She wanted to be together.
As things stood, she wasn’t going to be interested in anyone else. Audrey didn’t date, so there was no chance she was going for someone else. And, either way, they talked constantly, called every night. They were a couple in all but name. They’d refused to call it quits at the airport, and it had been the worst airport farewell Hallie had ever had in her life. But at least Audrey hadn’t said that was it for them.
But they couldn’t ride this line forever. And Hallie didn’t want to lose her, to fall off the cliff into singledom and loneliness that would last forever without Audrey.
“Your family sucks,” she muttered to River, who nodded easily. Part of Hallie was glad how readily and easily River agreed. She wasn’t struggling with the complicated feelings and dynamics like Audrey did. Hallie was glad River wasn’t traumatized by them in the same way—Audrey was glad of it too, as they’d discussed at length—but part of her just wanted to go back in time and be there for Audrey sooner, to be able to do something before they broke her spirit and made everything in her life more complicated than she deserved.
She just missed seeing Audrey so fucking badly.
River reached across the counter to pat her shoulder. “She cares about you. I’m sure it will work out somehow.”
“If anyone wants to tell me how, I’m all ears.” Hallie looked between the two of them, hoping one of them had a solution.
Even Pierre looked sad for her. She must really be falling apart.
A customer started across the lobby towards them and River moved, hurrying off to whatever task she was supposed to be in the middle of. Hallie, professional as always, plastered a smile across her face and pretended her insides weren’t a desolate wasteland of missing Audrey.
“I’m wondering if you can help me organize a surprise delivery for my boyfriend?” the customer asked, their eyes dancing.
Hallie usually loved these requests. And she still did, but she wanted to be the one at an inn asking for room deliveries that would light up Audrey’s world.
“Of course,” she said warmly. “What kind of thing are we thinking?”
They grinned excitedly, looking fit to burst with it as they clenched their hands together. “Well, he’s never had Detroit-style pizza and he’s never been to Meijer, but he’s heard me talk about it a ton.”
Hallie smiled, more touched than she should have been, because it really wasthateasy. When you loved someone, all you needed were the little things—the little things that became the big things. Like the maple bourbon balsamic she’d been nursing every night, thinking of Audrey. “Well, we can deliver one of those things to your room, but we might struggle to get an entire Meijer store here…”
They laughed. “Oh, yeah, we’re just going to go visit that one together. But, when we get back, if we could get a pizza delivered to our room? And a dining table for two set up in there?”
Hallie nodded, swallowing against the lump in her throat. “No problem at all. We’ll take care of it while you’re out and have a piping hot pizza ready for you on return.”
“Oh, my gosh. You’re the best. Thank you so much!”
Hallie nodded and managed to make it through the rest of the interaction—gathering all of the details to pull it off—without sobbing uncontrollably about how much she wanted to do simple things like visiting the grocery store and eating pizza with Audrey. And, when they left the counter, Pierre shot her another pitiful look.
“You need to do something,” he said, “because I’ve never seen you like this and it’s actually depressingme.”
“I know,” she sighed heavily. And maybe she did have an idea. It wasn’t as big as the declaration she wanted to make, but it was something—something small and meaningful and maybe that would help her get to the things she really needed to say.
She pulled out her phone, careful to check no guests were around to spot her, and set about placing an order. Just doingsomethingwas soothing. She smiled as the order confirmation flitted to her inbox.
And, while she was on her phone anyway, she might as well text Audrey…Inn facts: customer service face when missing you hurts like hell is both still possible and deeply annoying. Can’t a woman sob at the counter and get away with it?!
Then, she slipped her phone away and set about planning someone else’s romantic surprise. At least it kept her busy.
However, when she made it to lunch, she eagerly pulled her phone from her pocket and smiled when Audrey’s name lit up her screen.Yeah, the benefit of my job: if I cry, people think it’s about all the… death??
Hallie laughed as she typed her reply.I don’t believe you cry at work, Dr. Bee.
Audrey must have gotten a moment to herself because her typing bubble immediately popped up.I do try not to. But I’m sorry this hurts so badly. If it helps, I know exactly how you’re feeling.
Hallie sighed.That does not help at all, Audrey. All that makes me want to do is get on a plane and leave my entire life behind. But that’s probably not practical or sensible.
