Behind her, the car door slammed, Hallie finishing setting it up for their drive, but Audrey’s attention was claimed by Tracy as the guys moved to smother Hallie with love and support. She deserved every second of it.
Tracy took Audrey’s face between her hands, making her feel tiny again. “You, honey, are a blessing to the world and to all of us who know you.”
Audrey’s eyes burned as she blinked rapidly, swallowing hard. There was so much of her children in her eyes. So much of Hallie.
“Whenever your family is making your day darker,” she continued, “remember that there is a warm, chaotic family right here that loves you exactly as you are. Feel free to call or visit anytime you need. This is always home for you.”
“You don’t have to—” she broke off, tears escaping her eyes, and Tracy pulled her into a tight, motherly hug. One of those hugs that felt simultaneously like permission to fall apart and like it would hold all of the pieces of her together for as long as she couldn’t do that for herself.
When Audrey finally pulled back, Tracy shot her a look that promised she knew she didn’t have to do anything, that she simply wanted to. She had more than enough love to go around and truly welcome someone else in.
Why had love always been so limited in her own family?
“We’ll see you soon,” Tracy said, as if that were possible.
Audrey nodded, wishing it could be, and headed towards the car and Hallie.
Music was already playing inside, a smart choice because the air between them felt wretched and forlorn.
They clung to each other’s hands as soon as Hallie had the car in drive and Audrey fought her tears as she waved to the Fullers and their beautiful home.
She wasn’t saying goodbye to Hallie. They weren’t together but this wasn’t a breakup either. They were friends who had kissed. That was fine. Friends kissed sometimes.
Thoughts that tried to make the whole thing tolerable bounced around her head as they drove, and, the closer they got to her family’s cabin, the more they battled the deep ache that took root at being back in that place.
They’d already agreed Audrey wouldn’t go to the house. River had collected Hallie’s and Audrey’s things, and Hallie was going to pick her up, leaving Audrey at a café. Part of her felt like sheneededto go back but she couldn’t. The experience wasn’t tolerable, wasn’t manageable, and today was already tough enough.
???
“Audrey!” River yelled as she raced up to her table once Hallie returned with her.
Audrey smiled and stood to greet her, but her eyes found Hallie. Something was off.
“I missed you so much.” River winced as she stood back. “But I totally understand why you needed to leave. Our family is a bit…”
“Yeah, it is,” Audrey agreed. Whatever the end of that sentence was, it was true. She felt bad for being the impetus for River finally realizing, but maybe she’d have noticed one day anyway.
Hallie moved to her side, slipping her hand into Audrey’s with no apparent concern that River would see.
“Is everything okay?” Audrey asked quietly.
She hummed. “Fine. Just had… words with your mother.”
River laughed. “That’s such a mild description of it. She tore Michele a new one.”
Audrey blinked, looking down at Hallie. “What?”
“Sorry,” Hallie said with a slight frown. “I didn’t mean to do anything you wouldn’t like, but she was screaming about where you were and that you owed her your presence, that she was your mother and knew you better than anyone else did. She said she was going to hold your stuff hostage until you showed up and made this right. So, I just… got a little… defensive.”
“It was amazing,” River said, looking up at the menu, and Audrey had to wonder if she shouldn’t have been so worried about smashing the illusion for River. She was taking the collapse of their family dynamics remarkably well. “Michele was practically purple in the face by the end of it. Everyone saw. And, like, she deserves it. She’s been a nightmare all week.”
“Our whole family is a nightmare,” Audrey said, quiet but confident. Criticizing them still didn’t feel great, but that one could be played off as a joke, as affectionate. She didn’t mean it that way, but it was a step in the right direction. And she was only with Hallie, who definitely thought that, and River, who was apparently coming around.
River grinned at her. “Yeah. They kind of are. Sorry. But at least it led to you two meeting.” She gestured between the two of them. “You’re so cute together.”
Audrey knew she was supposed to deny that they were together, insist they were just friends. But she didn’t want to.
Hallie didn’t want to either, apparently. She simply leaned into Audrey’s chest, her free hand reaching up to wrap around Audrey’s neck.
