I tell him everything: that Karl and I were friends first, that his long-term boyfriend left him to work abroad and how devastated he was. How I was there for him as a friend, we all were, but that over the months following, we grew closer and closer until one night... I didn’t elaborate, pretty sure he got the picture.
“What happened?” His hands twitch on his lap, like he wants to reach for me, but I’m not sure I’d welcome that right now, and I breathe a sigh of relief when he clasps them instead.
“We were good together,” I say, and even I can hear the wistful tone. “For almost two years, I was the happiest I’d ever been. We were even thinking about getting a house together.” Even though I think I’m finally moving on, it still hurts. Maybebecause I thought he wasthe one. “And then Harrison came back.”
Jerry winces. “Oh.”
I sigh, because I want to blame Harrison and Karl for all of it, but I can’t. And that pisses me off too, because I can’t even hate the pair of them. “It’s not what you think. Harrison didn’t know Karl and me were together. They’d cut all contact when he left. He turned up at the pub we all go to after work sometimes. As soon as he saw us together, he apologised and left, but—” I draw in a shaky breath. Telling Jerry takes me back to that day, and for a moment, I relive the gut-wrenching realisation that my boyfriend is still in love with his ex. “The damage was done.” I shrug. “They didn’t contact each other, didn’t even try, but it wasn’t the same between me and Karl. As much as I loved him, I knew deep down he loved someone else, and I deserved better. We both did.”
Jerry reaches for my hand, and I hold on tight. “Are they together now?”
“Yeah.” My voice is rough, raw. I close my eyes and let my head fall back against the sofa.
“And your ex works in the same office building as you?”
“Yep.” I think of the upcoming team merger and groan. “And our two teams are about to be merged, so I’ll see even more of him.”
“Well, that’s fucking shit.”
I laugh, even though it’s far from funny, because he sounds so outraged on my behalf. “So shit.” I turn to look at him. “My boss suggested I relocate to our Sheffield office for a fresh start.” I’m not sure what made me blurt that out. I’ve still not made a decision on what I want to do about it.
Jerry stares at me, and I watch the implication of what I’ve said sink in. “So you’d have to move? I guess it’s a bit far to commute, right?”
“Technically, I’d only have to go into the office one or two days a week, so in theory I guess I could stay where I am...”
“But you like the idea of moving.” It’s not a question, and I’m caught off guard by how easily he’s read me.
“Maybe.”
I’m still wary about uprooting my whole life, but starting fresh—new team, new place, no chance of ever running into Karl and Harrison—well, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t have some appeal. And it’s not like I wouldn’t know anyone around here. Depending on where I chose to live, Sean isn’t far away.
Neither is Jerry.
So it’s not like I’d be totally alone.
“I take it you haven’t said whether or not you’ll take it yet?”
“No.” I drain the rest of my beer and set the bottle down. “But I’ll have to do it soon.”
Jerry’s eyebrows furrow as he finishes his own beer, and I wonder what he’s thinking so hard about. I think he’s about to tell me when he opens his mouth, but all he says is, “If you’re up for it, I thought we could go for a walk first thing and take Jen. The forecast is good, and Jen’ll be tired out for when we go to Sean and Vic’s later.”
Yeah, that so wasn’t what he had on his mind, but I let it go. I’m not brave enough to ask him. “Yeah, a walk sounds good. What time were you thinking?”
“Since I’m nice, I’ll let you have a lie in.” He grins. “About eight?”
“Eight?” I’m not proud of how high my voice goes, but come on. That’s not a fucking lie in.
“Too late for you? We can make it seven if you want.” His eyes are full of teasing, and I can’t help but grin back, even as I try my best to glare.
“Eight is fine,” I mutter, and Jerry laughs.
“Trust me, you’ll love it when we’re out there.”
“M-hmm.” I’m sure I will, and I’m not really bothered about getting up at that time but giving him shit is fun. “Whatever you say.”
He stands then, and my gaze automatically scans the length of him from head to toe, and back again. I flush when I reach his face and realise I’ve been caught.
“Since we’re having an early start, we should probably go to bed now.” There’s an edge to his voice, and that, coupled with his words, sends a shiver through me.
