I can’t help but picture him leading me up to his bedroom and shoving me down onto his big bed. Even though Iknowthat’s not what he meant, my brain has merrily skipped ahead about a hundred steps and my flush deepens.
My cheeks aren’t the only things he’s going to notice in a minute though, and how fucking embarrassing will that be?
All he’s done is mention the wordbedand I’m half-hard.
What the hell is wrong with me?
I don’t even think of Jerry like that. Which, okay, that’s a lie. Ishouldn’tbe thinking of Jerry like that, because that ship has sailed and we’re friends now.
It’s just been so fucking long since I’ve had sex of any kind, that clearly even the idea of it is enough to set me off.
“I’m thirty-three, not eighty,” I mutter, desperately thinking unsexy thoughts and willing my body to behave. I yawn, weakening my argument, and Jerry raises his eyebrows. I don’t even wait for him to comment, I stand and pray he doesn’t look down. “Fine. Maybe I am a bit tired.”
“Thought so.” He’s way too smug, and I think I’ve got away with my unfortunate semi until his gaze dips and I hear his faint, but sharp, inhale.
I don’t want to look down. I don’t need to because I canfeelit, for fuck’s sake, but seeing it for myself means I can’t pretend it’s not there. “Where am I sleeping?” I ask instead and thenwant to die when I realise how that came out. “I mean which bedroom am I in?” And that’s not much better.Christ, Reed. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
When I open them again, it’s to find Jerry watching me with a huge smile on his face and obviously trying not to laugh.
“Oh, fuck off.”
He does laugh then, and there’s no other choice but to join him.
“I’m not used to staying with someone who isn’t either Paul or Sean,” I offer as a sort of explanation for my behaviour. Not sure it makes much sense, but staying here, despite how comfortable I felt earlier, is still a little weird.
Well, it is now I’ve made it weird.
Jerry takes pity on me. “My spare room is the first door on the right at the top of the stairs, which is where you’ll be sleeping. The bathroom is straight in front of you. My room is the first on the left.”
Did I imagine his voice getting deeper on that last sentence?
Yes. Of course I did.
Stop reading into things that aren’t there, or you’ll make everything awkward again.
Or maybe not.
That thought creeps into my head, uninvited. How many times do I need to remind myself that we’re friends? I’m staying here as afriend.
With benefits?
Oh my god, I need to stop.
“I’m just going to let Jen out to do her business. Do you need anything before you go up? Glass of water?”
“No, thank you. I’ve got a bottle in my bag.”
“Okay, well, I’ll see you in the morning then.”
“Yeah, night. And thanks again for letting me stay here.”
His smile is instant and catches me off guard with how it lights up his whole face. “It’s my pleasure.”
As he moves past me to get to the door, his hip brushes against the front of my jeans, it’s only the barest contact but it’s enough to make my breath hitch and I clench my fists in an effort not to grab hold of him and pull him closer.
He glances back at me, a question in his eyes, and I’m so, so tempted to—fuck it.
“Jerry,” I whisper and reach for his hand.
