I call that progress.
But the more he does it, the more it sticks in my mind, because Jerry’s an attractive guy. We might’ve agreed—well, okay, Ichose—not to go there at New Year’s, but I’m not blind. And a little flirting never hurt anyone, right? It’s not like we have to act on anything.
“There you go,” Jerry says as he walks in and hands me a beer.
“Thanks.”
He sits at the other end of the sofa, dog at his feet, but his cat stays put on my lap. “Traitor,” he mutters, glaring at her, but he’s smiling as he says it.
We decided against going out, because by the time we’d eaten I’d started to yawn—it’s been a long fucking day—and I was only too happy to chill at his house instead.
I’ve still got my phone in my hand, and he nods at it. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah. Just checking in with Paul. He’s looking after Frank for me.”
There’s a beat of silence and then Jerry shifts to face me, one hand idly tracing the seam along his jeans. “Paul? I don’t think you’ve mentioned him before.”
I stare back at him, wondering if I’m imagining the edge ofsomethingin his tone. Is he... is he jealous?
I consider it for a second and then dismiss it as me being ridiculous. “Paul’s one of my best mates. We work together,” I add. “Have done for about five years now. I’m surprised I haven’t mentioned him before, considering we’re in the same office and I see him most days.”
I snap my mouth shut because I suddenly realise I’m rambling.
And that’s not all, I can feel heat flooding my face too.
Oh my god,why?
This only happens when I’m nervous, and I have absolutely no reason to be nervous around Jerry.
Clearly this is all Paul’s fault.
If he could see me right now, he’d be delighted, because there’s no denying my feelings towards Jerry have just shifted ever so subtly.
“Is he staying at your place then?”
It takes a moment for me to realise Jerry’s asked me a question, and when I meet his gaze, his eyes sparkle with amusement that wasn’t there a minute ago. There’s something else there too, but no way do I want to focus on decoding that right now. “Sorry, what?” I have to ask because I already forgot what he said.
“Is Paul at your house? Or has he taken Frank back home?”
“Er... he’s at my place. His boyfriend’s slightly allergic to cats, so he didn’t want to have Frank there, just in case.”
Jerry smiles, and this time I know I’m not imagining the way all the tension seems to leave his body at my words. He settles back into the sofa and takes a drink of his beer. After fiddling with the label on the bottle, his eyes meet mine again, but all traces of amusement are gone, and I immediately tense.
I can spot a serious conversation a mile away.
“Have things changed?” he asks softly. “Since New Year’s?”
I raise my eyebrows. Is he asking what I think he is?
“Shit.” He shakes his head quickly. “That came out wrong. I should’ve asked if things were better now. In your life. Because you never took me up on my offer to talk about it, so I’m hoping that’s because you found someone else to do that with. Or that you’ve come out the other side, as it were.” He offers me a small smile. “And if you haven’t and you still want to talk, the offer is always there.”
He looks at me with a mix of expectation and hesitancy, and I swallow the flare of disappointment that he wasn’t actually hitting on me. He’s asking as a friend, and I did say I’d talk to him about it soon.
Not that I owe him an explanation, nor do I ever think he’d push for one. But I haven’t really talked about it with anyone, not really, not like I probably need to. And in the welcoming warmth of Jerry’s home, with a cat on my knee, a dog asleep at our feet, and Jerry’s offer so unbelievably tempting... maybe it’s time.
I drain the rest of my beer and set the bottle back on the coffee table, careful not to disturb Kyla.
And I start to talk.
