I know that he’ll be gutted about Dani moving to Nolan, possibly not knowing anyone. Trying to move on with her life.
So, I’ll be there for her.
Although, I have no idea how because I don’t even have her number.
I doubt she’s kept her old one. I don’t even know if I have it anymore.
Slipping the photo back into the drawer, I dig out my phone and search my Contacts. Her name pops up, and I stare at the screen, wondering if I should text her. Test it out and see. But…
With a wince, I lay the phone down beside me.
Not tonight.
Maybe tomorrow.
Rolling onto my side, I reach for my lamp and switch it off, plunging myself back into the darkness and trying not to remember, not to relive, every damn day of my past.
CHAPTER 5
DANI
Jed was on closing tonight, so I waited around and helped, then jumped into his car and drove home with him. When I first took this job, I was a little worried that living and working with the same person might be too much, but Jed’s a breeze, and we’re so busy tending bar most nights that we barely have a chance to talk some shifts.
Man, my feet are killing me.
I’m so relieved I have tomorrow off.
I’m gonna sleep in, maybe go for an amble around town or meet up with Tobin for lunch or something. Whatever it is, it’s gonna be chill.
Music drifts over us as we drive to the apartment building about ten minutes off campus. It’s an old, five-story orange-brick building that’s been restored. Who knows when it was built, but I love the historic edge to the architecture.
We’re on the fourth floor, and Jed always likes to climb the stairs, so I follow him up. He’s got this theory that always taking the stairs will keep him fit and healthy. It’s actually Tobin’s theory, and I don’t know how accurate it is, but I do know it’s healthier than taking the elevator.
“We’re home,” Jed sings the second we walk through the door.
Tobin jumps up from the couch, grinning at us both but making a beeline for his boyfriend.
“Hey.” Jed’s voice gets all soft, the way it only ever does with Tobs.
“Hey, you.” Tobin grins up at him, and they share a kiss.
It’s never some sweet little peach with those two. They always go for it—tongues and passion and …
I look away, laughing to myself as I slip off my shoes… until I remember that Atlas and I used to be like that. Damn, we were hot for each other, especially that summer when we first crossed the line and slept together. We’d been dating for over a year, and I finally felt ready. We were both sixteen, and that summer, I gave him his first blow job. He went down on me a few days later, and about a week after that, I gave my V-card away and never looked back.
I’ve never slept with another man, and it kinda kills me that if I do want to move on with my life, I’m gonna have to come to terms with the fact that Atlas will no longer be my one and only.
You could stay single for the rest of your life.
The thought sits like a mossy stone in my stomach, and I shake off that idea. I can’t. I can’t keep living this way. I want love again. I want to walk in the door and have someone say, “Hey, you,” like I matter and then kiss me—all tongues and passion.
Dropping my bag onto the end of my bed, I walk back into the open-plan living/kitchen area to make myself a cup of chamomile tea. I’ve been drinking the stuff every night before bed since Atlas died. It’s a habit I can’t break.
Jed and Tobin have moved to the couch, their fingers threaded together as they talk about their days.
I tense, just waiting for Jed to spill the tea on Tyrell, but he’s busy listening to Tobin’s story about the girl in his class who was brought down a peg or two by the professor and just how satisfying that was.
“She’s the worst.” Tobin rolls his eyes, then starts to laugh. “Babe, you should have seen her face when the professor corrected her. It was the most rewarding part of my day.” His voice softens. “Until now.”
