We’ve moved into a new condo, one we agreed on, selling our old places as we made this new space for us. I loved my place, and Jesse loved his. I thought it’d be harder for us to give those up, but we agreed we were interested in creating something new, starting from the ground up as we designed a space for usboth.
As I massage my tongue inside his mouth, he finally pushes me back, asking, “What’s gotten you so friskytonight?”
“I feel…content.”
I glance around the upstairs hallway, then down our new stairwell at the artwork along the walls, the pieces Jesse and I picked out together. It’s been somewhat of a challenge to find stuff that meets both our tastes, but something about the battle—navigating that space where we work to satisfy our own impulses while simultaneously trying to make sure the other is happy—makes it all the morerewarding.
“I couldn’t be happier with how far this place hascome.”
“Yeah, well, at least no more contractors walking in and out,” Jessesays.
I laugh as I consider the many months it took us to create this dream condo. “A little bit of a mess, but so worth it, don’t you think?” I’m talking about a lot more than the condo, and it’s clear by the way Jesse’s lip curls into his dimple that he knows as much. “And speaking of good places, it was great getting to see my son again tonight. Being in his place, over at dinner, just talking about normal shit. No stress or drama. We’ve come sofar.”
“I’m sure a few of those group therapy sessions we did have helped abit.”
“I should give a Yelp review to the mental health we’vereceived.”
“I’ve certainly enjoyed everything it’s done for us,” Jesse says before kissing meagain.
It’s true too. Every bit of effort, all the darkness I confronted and what felt like far too much work on myself and us has led to a deeper connection with the man I care so much about. It wasn’t easy to let him into my life, to break down those barriers I spent a lifetime throwing in front of me, but I’ve made so muchprogress.
I behold the man who changed my whole world for the better before kissing him again. We strip on the way into thebedroom.
Dancing that routine we both know so well, one that so effortlessly rivals even our best days in tango, he winds up on his knees in our king-size bed, which we moved from my old place. Too many good memories to change some thingsup.
I push into him from behind, standing on the mattress as I navigate my shaft into his hole, gripping his side as he clings to theheadboard.
“Right there, Eric. Oh, rightthere.”
He rolls his head back, and I lean forward, pressing my chest against his back as I nip and lick at his neck before he turns to face me and I take his mouth onceagain.
I fuck him some more before I pull out to give him a little bit of abreak.
He crawls on top of me, pushing his girth against my pelvis, and a familiar impulse rises within me. But tonight it’s different. Tonight, it feels soright.
“Jesse, I want totry.”
He pulls away, and his expression tells me he knows exactly what I mean. “Are yousure?”
“I’mready.”
There was a time when I didn’t believe it was even possible to really beready.
There’s uneasiness, which Troy and Carolyn said should be expected, but considering everything we’ve done, every bit of practice, every exercise leading up to this, I’m certain it’stime.
Not because I need it to prove anything to him or myself, but just because I wantit.
The little smirk that forms across Jesse’s face gives me confidence that he doesn’t have any apprehension about it either. Not after everything we’ve done to lead up toit.
We’ve inched our way toward the goal, one exercise at a time, done so much that it doesn’t seem like the weight that once dominated myawareness.
Jesse grabs the bottle of lube resting on the bed beside us and slides it closer tome.
I’m eager—fucking eager. I never would have believed I could experience that emotion aboutthis.
Jesse offers the gentlest of kisses. “I love you, no matterwhat.”
“I would never doubt that, Jesse.” I grip the back of his head, stroking my thumb down the side of hisface.
